The Clan
by Lord of Impeccable Timing
Summary: Nasty habit of terrible names here, but it's relevant. Sequel to The Succubus. A high-profile theft garters the attention of Spirit World, pitting the group against itself in an all-out free-for-all. Violence and drama for all.
1. Nightmares Revisited

Whoo, sequel! I knew all you loyal readers out there [pssht, what, the 5 or 6 of ya? Love ya anyway!] were gettin' antsy, and I'm no fan of mobs that I ain't the head of. So, here you are, the long-awaited sequel.

Disclaimer, disclaimer, disclaimer: LoIT doesn't own YYH, now or ever. So don't think I do. 'Cause I don't.

_

* * *

The forest was quiet, dark, and, somehow, serene. Maybe it was all the fresh-fallen snow which coated all of the desolate, dead landscape. Perhaps it was the solitude of the forest. She didn't know. She didn't care. It was a winter wonderland that offered her a respite from the challenges of her new life, and one she took well._

_At the edge of the tree line was a lake. As she approached it, she could see the water was frozen solid. She stepped onto the placid surface, treading lightly, until she reached the middle of the lake, where she stopped. Looking down, she could see her own reflection, but it was different. Older, perhaps--no, definitely. She kneeled down to more closely examine herself. When she reached out to touch her face, to make sure it was her own, the ice cracked. She didn't have the chance to jump back before the ice--the glass--shattered beneath her._

_Falling into the blackness, it seemed like forever before she landed on a solid surface. The world around her was still black, even the water on which she was standing. Her amazement and wonder were cut short by a sharp pain in her left palm. Glancing down, she could see her hand bleeding, cut from the shattered shards of glass through which she'd fallen. As the blood dripped into the water, a scream pierced the silence._

_It wasn't hers._

_The voice was easily identified. Loud, high-pitched, shrill; her mind immediately recognized her mother's voice. It shrieked and raved, carrying on about her hatred and disgust, wishing an early and painful demise upon her. For the first few moments, she was able to ignore it, but it soon grew in volume. She panicked. There was no origin, nothing for her to focus on to ignore it any longer. Unnerved and unwilling, she dropped to her knees, clasping her hands over her ears and squeezing her eyes shut. It was all in vain; the screams still came through._

_She wasn't sure, but she thought she screamed. Loudly, painfully, agonizing. Time didn't pass. The blood dripped from her hand into the water again, a slight sploosh following. For the endless eon for which she was tormented, she perhaps screamed, until all breath had gone, wishing that it would end._

_Suddenly, she became very aware of another's presence. Feeling that she knew who it was, she slowly opened her eyes and looked up. She was right. Excitement fluttered through her; her elation only barely matched the magnitude of the screams. She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. At least, she didn't think they did, but some must have, as he replied with a somber expression, pulling out his blade. She knew what was coming next, and only stared in horror. No, no--_

Umi screamed, shooting up in bed. Panting heavily, she looked around her dark bedroom. It was certainly no different than it ever was these days: volume upon volume of forgotten lore littered her floor, hiding what she felt was a light bamboo floor; notebooks and papers and writing utensils covered her mahogany desk, hiding her laptop among the clutter; the closet door burst forth from the wall from being crammed with clothing and video game equipment, as well as a few, more illegal things hidden in the back. Seeing nothing to prompt her continued fears, she forcibly slowed her breathing as she wiped the sweat from her brow.

After calming herself down, Umi laid down on the mattress, pulling the sheets up, and attempted to fall back asleep. That was the third time that week she'd had a nightmare like that. One with him in it. She was irate at him, still, for abandoning her like that. Who did he think he was? What sort of terrible person would cause another so much pain? Irritated, Umi shook her head. She was just being unreasonable. All of her psychology books said she was just suffering from a dependent personality disorder, and, begrudgingly, she believed it. Luckily for her, there was an escape, a distraction: explosions.

A soft smile came to her lips. Ever since he left, she'd had to get her powers under control by herself, and now she had essentially a complete grasp of her abilities, and recently had put them to use blowing things up with Yusuke and Kuwabara every Friday. Tomorrow--or rather, today, whatever--was Friday, and they had something _good_ planned.

Having comforted herself, she rolled over and promptly fell asleep. The dream was carefully filed away in the mental wastebasket for the blissful infinity of nonexistence.

* * *

The bell rang, signalling that it was lunchtime. Yusuke walked over to Kuwabara's desk, leaning up against it. "What time did she say she was coming?" he murmured, glancing at the clock. "It's 12:30."

"I'm more concerned with how she's gonna sneak all that in here without getting caught," Kuwabara replied, taking a ridiculously large bite of his sandwich.

"She looks innocent enough," Yusuke answered. "She'll just throw it all in a bag or something; nobody's gonna stop her for questioning."

Kuwabara's reply was muffled by his mouth full of sandwich, and, before he managed to swallow his gigantic bite, he was interrupted by the teacher.

"Mr. Urameshi," Mr. Takenaka called from the door. "Your cousin is here to see you." He didn't seem entirely convinced that this was kosher, but he didn't really want to get involved.

"Cousin?" Yusuke repeated. "What cousin?"

"Is she hot?" Kuwabara asked, following Yusuke to the door.

"Even if she is, you can't date her; I don't want to wind up being related to you."

"Hey--!" Kuwabara was cut off by Yusuke opening the door, and the two recognized who it was immediately. "Hey, why are you pretending to be Urameshi's cousin?"

"Only students and their relatives can get into the building during school hours," Umi informed quietly. Louder, she recited, "Yusuke, you left your things at home again. You'll never learn if you keep doing that."

Catching on, Yusuke responded, "Oh, sorry cuz; I was just so excited to get to school this morning that I forgot it. Thank you so much."

Before she turned to leave, she murmured, "I'm setting them off in one hour exactly. Make sure they're in place and you're gone by then."

"Gotcha."

Louder, Umi replied, "You're welcome, Yusuke. Well, I have to head back to school--my lunch break's almost over. See you later!"

As soon as she left, Kuwabara commented to Yusuke in an undertone, "You're a terrible actor. Now, where are we gonna hide these?"

Yusuke grinned. "Follow me."

* * *

It was 1:29. At the Jr. High, many students were engaged in a rousing game of dodgeball in the gymnasium. The bouncy red orbs flew back and forth across the midpoint of the gymnasium, and much noise filled the open area--a combination of shouts, laughter, and the resonant _ker-thunk_ of the dodgeballs hitting solid surfaces. Among these joyous students were Yusuke Urameshi, Kazuma Kuwabara, and Keiko Ukimora. Of all the people in the gymnasium, only two looked at the clock and suspected a thing.

It was 1:29. At the high school, students were sitting in their classes. One class in particular, a literature one, had a very, very monotonous vibe to it, and many of the students had stopped paying attention. As the professor droned, it seemed that only two students were even pretending to pay attention: Shuichi Minamino, who was precariously taking notes, and Umi Minamino, who switched between listening to the teacher and glancing at the clock.

5

4

3

2

1

Umi released the energy trap that she'd been holding since the evening before. Her cousin noticed, but refrained from saying anything; he settled for a look that said "control yourself." She grinned sheepishly, in an attempt to say that it was an accident; the explosion of energy that was triggered gave her away.

At precisely 1:30, the game of dodgeball came to an unexpected halt. From places unknown, fireworks sputtered forth, exploding throughout the gymnasium. People screamed, running to the doors, only to get caught in the rush to escape. This grup included the aforementioned group of three identified students, two of whom were desperately trying not to laugh, prompting the appropriate disciplinary response from the third.

"Did you have something to do with this?" Keiko snapped, glaring between Yusuke and Kuwabara.

"Who, us?" the two replied innocently, still struggling with their snickers.

"You guys could hurt somebody!" she insisted, stamping her foot. "Stop it this instant!"

"Yeah, we can't do that," Yusuke informed.

"Someone else triggered them from a remote location," Kuwabara explained. "So we can't really do anything about them."

"Aside," Yusuke added, "they're not dangerous."

No sooner had the words escaped from his lips than did one of the fireworks hit one of their classmates, lighting his jacket on fire. Two other students tackled him while a third grabbed a fire extinguisher and shot the flaming student with it, covering all three in carbon dioxide foam. Keiko gave Yusuke and Kuwabara a disapproving glance.

"Well, he isn't hurt, is he?"

Keiko's glance didn't waver.

* * *

Kurama glanced at the clock again. 6:00. Umi should be home any minute. He turned back to the stove, finishing up the stir fry. As he jerked the handle of the wok back and forth, he felt somebody outside the window. The kitsune recognized the energy, but kept his attention on supper; he didn't want it to burn.

The person came into the kitchen and stood behind the table, waiting to be acknowledged. After a few moments, he finally was.

"It's been a while," Kurama informed lightly. "A little bit over a year, I think."

"You door was locked," the other informed snarkily.

Kurama laughed, pausing his cooking for just a moment. "Well Hiei, I honestly didn't expect you back."

"Hn."

"So what brings you back to the wretched human world?" It was obvious that there was amusement in his voice, mixed with mild mockery.

Hiei momentarily shifted his gaze before answering, "Lord Youkai requests your presence in court."

A long pause was the reply, tense, only broken up by the sizzling from the stove. That was the last answer Kurama was expecting, as was evident based on the shock in his eyes. "Lord Youkai?" he repeated, raising his eyebrow slightly. "_The_ Lord Youkai? Youkai Yami?"

"Yes."

Again, silence permeated.

"You're joking."

"Kurama, I don't joke."

"Lord Youkai requests my presence?"

"For your assistance with a project."

Another pause.

"What kind of project?"

"I don't know."

The fox demon was immediately suspicious. The Youkai clan wasn't known for its...charitable...or kosher...projects... "I can't go."

"Why not?"

"I can't just leave Umi here; who else will take care of her while mother is on her honeymoon?"

"She can come with; Lord Youkai also requests her presence."

"No," Kurama decided, walking over to the table. "Absolutely not. I am not letting her get involved with them."

"And why not?" Hiei demanded, annoyed. "You know how Lord Youkai gets when he is disobeyed."

"The Makai isn't the place for her," he explained, almost witlessly. "She'll only be hurt there--you know how demons are toward humans."

"She doesn't have a choice," Hiei informed flatly. "There are dire consequences for disobeying Lord Youkai's commands."

"I'll deal with them. She's not going." Kurama was obstinate.

"You didn't even ask her if she wanted to go," Hiei tried, more bothered.

"I don't need to."

"I, however, do."

Kurama gave him a blank look, which the confused fire demon greatly. What was he scheming? "No, you can't."

"I can't what?"

"You can't ask her."

"I can't ask her?" he repeated, incredulous.

"You can't even see her."

"This is ridiculou--"

"Hiei, you don't understand," Kurama emphasized, sighing heavily as he slunk into the chair. "She cared so much for you, and then you just left her and haven't kept contact in over a year, and now you just come along and want her to risk her life for something I'm almost positive is illegal and immoral. She's wounded, and I don't know that she's healed any; seeing you again won't help her at all--it'll only hurt her. I can't have that."

"Kurama, you're being an idiot. The girl doesn't respond to your overprotection. She won't be pleased to find out that you're dictating her life."

"As though you would know what makes her happy?"

"Do _you_ know what makes her happy? Tell me, Kurama, is she happy here?"

The kitsune paused, giving Hiei a sobering glance as he collapsed further into his seat. "She's...content," he decided, cradling his head in his hand. "She's just content. But content is better than hurt, and I won't let her be in pain any longer."

Hiei didn't speak. He simply kept an annoyed expression on his face and turned to leave. "You have a week to leave," he added, just before darting back out the window, leaving Kurama alone.

Kurama was a mess. What was he going to do? He couldn't let her get hurt again...but, if they didn't go, Lord Youkai...well, he wouldn't be pleased. It seemed that no matter what, somebody was going to end up in pain. He sighed heavily, supposing that he'd have to break the news to her soon. That wouldn't turn out well, either. None of it would.

* * *

Mmmm, and the drama is already begun! I'm going to rest my hands now from all that typing, and there will be an update soon. Hope y'all enjoyed it.

Oh, almost forgot. Your sampler for the next chapter:

_You appear like raindrops  
And leave like you sink through  
The streets that you fall on  
The cars that slip on you  
All of this for just one night_

-_Raindrops_, Armor For Sleep


	2. A Conversation in D Major

And back by popular demand is...well, me and my work! :D Everybody cheer!

So, before this wonderful, shiny new chapter, I'd like to offer a lite explanation for the new addition to my stories. As you may have seen around elsewhere, many folks ('specailly one of my new fav authors, crossyourteez--luff ya) have the snazzy habit of putting quotations at the beginning of their chapters as a bit of foreshadowing and to set the mood. I like the idea, and I didn't want to just copy that, so I put my own little spin on it. Since everything I write is inspired by music, I figured I'd do some foreshadowing at the end of every chapter to get you all prepared for what'll come in a good long while because I'm lazy. So, hope you enjoy the new format and stuff. Now go on and read.

Disclaimer: YYH = not mine.

* * *

"Shuichi, are you alright?"

"Yeah, you seem really worried."

"Is there something wrong?"

Kurama looked up from his book, which he'd been mindlessly staring at for at least an hour. He hadn't turned the page since he'd opened it. "Oh," he answered mindlessly, mildly embarrassed. "It's nothing. Really."

"Are you sure?" one of the fangirls asked again, looking unsure.

"Yes, I'm sure."

"Okay..." Obviously unconvinced, the group of idol worshipers walked away, murmuring amongst themselves (obviously about him). Sighing, Kurama glanced at the clock. 12:52. Their lunch break was almost over, and they would have to get back to work soon; he wasn't sure if this weekend course was distracting him from his problems or if his problems were distracting him from his weekend course. Again sighing, he returned to his book, unsure of where he had left off before zoning out.

"He's so depressing," Umi groused, crossing her arms in annoyance. "I wonder what his problem is..."

"The Great Shuichi Minamino has problems too, eh?" her friend inquired, laughing mildly at himself. Umi wasn't amused. "Well, forget him," he continued, unfazed by his own tangent. "We're still going to TinSnipZ tonight, right?"

The girl nodded, leaning forward slightly, forcing her elbows onto her knees. "Now, tell me, what do I have to do in prep, Kadaj?"

Kadaj, Umi's most interesting friend, was an American transfer student with a flare for the edgy. He was a punk rocker befor ehis trip, unable to continue his practice since he'd left, but his spiky electric green hair was a prominent vestige of that life. He too leaned forward, excitement in his white, white eyes (he'd ordered those contacts just before leaving and was rather depressed that he hadn't been able to show them off to his friends back home), and began, "Your clothes. You have to get the right attire; TinSnipZ fans are ultra hardcore. So here's your outfit: leather pants, studded belt, chains from your waist, tight tank, fishnet over shirt, any heavy metal bling you've got, heavy eyeliner, bright lip color, matching eye shadow, and spiky hair."

Umi paused for a moment, not quite as excited as Kadaj, and worrying him slightly with her lack of enthusiasm. She shrugged, murmuring, "Alright then. Works for me. You'll be at my place at seven?"

The pale American nodded.

"Good. Be right back." Umi pivoted on the desk before sliding off; her technique didn't really stop her skirt from riding up, nor did it prevent Kadaj from making a snide comment about her lacy undergarments, nor did it halt the customary punch from Umi in response. After fixing her ridiculously short skirt, she walked over to where her cousin was moping around, only holding the book up in front of his face as a formality at that point. After he didn't notice her for a few moments, she hemmed in a particularly obnoxious way, earning his highly bothered attention and accompanying eye narrow.

"Yes, Umi?" he questioned blandly, irritated that he'd been yanked from his thoughts prematurely.

"You are so out of it; are you okay?"

"I'm fine." He obviously wasn't, but Umi was in no mood to convince him otherwise, and that fact was apparent to both of them.

"Well, you do remember that Kadaj and I are going to the concert tonight, right?"

Kurama nodded. "Yes, I recall."

"You're still cool with it?"

"Yes."

"You're aware that I'll be out until some ungodly hour of the morning?"

"Naturally."

"Good then. I'm leaving right after class. Will you be home before I leave?"

"Perhaps."

Umi rolled her eyes, obviously irritated. "You're being such a fucking emo. I'll see you later, then." As she turned to walk away, she could swear she saw somebody she recognized in the window. It horrified her, and she refused to double take, scuttling off in an attempt to erase even the thought of the possibility that he was there from her mind.

* * *

The doorbell rang. Umi looked over herself one last time before leaving the bathroom and walking off toward the door. As force of habit, she glanced out the window at the end of the hall. Just as earlier, she noticed a blur of black on the outside, forcing a shudder down her spine. No, she was just crazy, just a little bit out of her mind. That had to be it. Umi tried to convince herself that she was losing her sanity as she scampered to the door; she kept that look of horror on her face as she answered the door.

"Are you ready to--dude, what happened to you?" Kadaj wasn't questioning her attire; he was wearing a similar outfit of black leather, fishnet, chains, studs, and far too much hair gel. The comment was focused on her distant expression.

"Um, nothing." She answered quickly, shaking her head for emphasis.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"You and your fucking cousin, I swear on my life. Biggest emo kids of all time." Rolling his eyes, he gestured for her to come along. "Are you ready for the adventure of a lifetime?"

That night was a blur of chaotic music and insane company. The concert's venue was a hot club in the middle of the city; it had been done up to accommodate for the different crowd: black and strobe lights, fog machine, and lots and lots of booze and empty space for moshing. Umi thought that the rave was a refreshing change in atmosphere, but Kadaj felt otherwise. Something about selling out and posers and something else, Umi wasn't really listening. All that she knew was that the driving bass had started, and her heart pounded to its beat.

TinSnipZ was an American band, officially Alternative/Punk, unofficially metal, and, to their fans, totally fucking sweet. Their greatest hit, "Bloodbath at St. Peter's," flaunted all that made them great: violent lyrics, intense, driving beat, heavy bass, intricate and winding guitar, pounding percussion, and, of course, tons of screaming. Headbanging fans would throw up the z-sign, signifying the last letter of the band's name, made by sticking the thumbs into the opposite hand's crook between the first finger and thumb.

Flashing lights, thick fog, loud music--it was a world in it of itself inside that club. Kadaj dragged Umi into the mosh pit--the last place a girl of her stature should have been, but a definitely fun experience nonetheless. Once you got past the unidentifiable smoke (some of it was from the fog machine, some of it was from week smokers, and she wasn't too sure of the ratio), the thick scent of booze and sweat, the intense body heat, the completely unnecessary violent pushing and shoving, and the overall sensory overload, she had to say it was a fun place to be. Kadaj certainly seemed to be enjoying himself. Perhaps he was just caught up in the ecstasy of the moment, or perhaps he just had a violent streak in him, but Kadaj seemed to be getting way too much pleasure out of decking other punkers in the face, as he had gotten into the big fight that had developed somewhere near the stage. The sheer rapture of the entire scene was so pervasive as to wipe their minds of all life outside the party.

And then it was over.

What seemed like only seconds to the revelers was really three hours to the rest of the world. Feeling far too pumped to simply go home, Umi and Kadaj walked to a nearby bar for a little while to wind down. For the first few rounds of nonalcoholic (or, if you were Kadaj and his fake ID, very alcoholic) beverages, the conversation centered around the awesome high that was the concert. And it would have remained that way if Umi had refrained from glancing up at the mirror which hung over the bar.

"Not again," she cursed under her breath, shielding her eyes with her hand.

Kadaj hiccupped. "What again?"

"Nothing."

"Is this the same thing you were flipping a shit about before we left?"

"Yeah."

"Well, out with it. What was it?"

"I don't want to--"

"Come off it."

Knowing that she couldn't argue with a semi-drunk American and win, she sighed. "Alright," she began, her tone conveying the fact that she knew she sounded crazy, "I've been having these...dreams...they're not recurring, per say, but they're usually pretty similar, and there's this guy in them. Always. And, I may just be losing my mind--in fact, I'm sure I am--but I've fucking seen him everywhere today. Here, my house, school...I'm losing it!"

Kadaj just blinked, glancing up into the mirror. "Menacing-looking, lots of black, real short, hair to heaven?"

Umi paused before looking over at him. That was surprisingly accurate. "Yeah, why?"

"He's standing about 10 feet behind me, glaring as though he wants me to go up in flames."

Shocked, she whirled around in her chair. When she saw him, she confirmed that he was really there, and felt slightly relieved that she wasn't insane. Her glance shifted between her friend and him, eventually earning a response from Kadaj.

"Go ahead. I'll scope out hotties until you get back."

"You're such a guy," she murmured jestfully as she rolled her eyes. Much less enthusiastically, she walked off toward where he was standing. He motioned for her to follow him, and the two moved to a secluded corner of the bar.

"So, I see you've adapted well," Hiei commented, unsure as to why he was faltering under he gaze.

Umi's glare narrowed. "Yeah, I guess being hurt will do that to ya."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, don't lie to my face. You knew how I felt, then you kissed me and ran off. You're kind of an asshole, aren't you? You knew I don't take abandonment well, and you still ran off."

"You're a self-centered egoist, aren't you?" he snarked, meeting her glare. "What makes you think you held any sway in my decision? I had been waiting for ages to get back to the Makai; you're lucky I bothered helping you and your idiotic cousin."

The girl scoffed, crossing her arms across her chest and her left leg over her right. "So, what? You came back to rub it in my face? Or do you want something from me, other than my dignity?"

Irate, Hiei gave her a particularly nasty look. "Maybe I came back for you. Did you think of that, you incessant whining bitch?"

Her heart lightened, despite the insult. "Did you?"

"Perhaps. Somewhat."

"Oh." Her hopes were dashed, and she hardened again. "You need me to perform some insipid task, then you'll run off again."

"Don't make this about you. It's not about any of us. Aside, I see you've moved on," he added, gesturing toward Kadaj behind him. "He's a bit different from your last partner, isn't he?"

Umi nearly smacked herself in the head when she glanced over at Kadaj, who was making a pass at the nearest girl--and failing. "That's just Kadaj; he's only a friend--hey, why are you making this about my love life?"

"You made it about that. I came only because I had to."

"Way to make me feel wanted." The pain in her voice evaporated as she sat back, still cross. "Alright, shoot, what do you need?"

Surprisingly, Hiei avoided eye contact as he replied. "You're wanted in the court of Lord Youkai for some task and are to leave by the end of the week."

There was a silence. "Uh-huh. So who is this guy, where is he, and what does he want?"

"Ask you cousin; he has been summoned as well."

"Of course he does."

Hiei shot her an irritated glance as he got up. "Don't throw your rage at me. I'm just the messenger."

Umi laughed coldly. "Yeah, like the fucking harbinger of death." The comment was intended as a joke to herself, to be much quieter than it came out.

"What do you mean?" His interest was peaked, and he stopped in his tracks.

"Nothing, don't worry about it."

He gave her a look. "I can still read your mind."

She returned the look. "I'll tell you next time we meet." Annoyed, the fire demon left quickly. Umi sighed, sitting back in her seat. So her dreams were premonitory. Well, that was giving herself far too much credit; but she did have to admit, there were a lot of similarities between her dreams and what had happened (and what she was certain would happen). She shook her head. Now was not the time to think on that. She had things to do in order to prepare herself for the emotional roller coaster that was sure to be her life for the next few months; the first step of this process would be confronting her cousin. Oh, joy.

* * *

Yep, that's definitely the end of this chapter. More drama all around, of course. See ya at the update.

_That's when you st-st-stutter something profound  
To the support on the line  
And with the way you've been talking  
Every word gets you a step closer to hell_

~_Nails for Breakfast, Tacks for Snacks_, Panic! At the Disco


	3. Explanations of the Political Kind

Halloa, all! I return again with a shiny, new chapter for y'all. Unfortunately for you, it's kinda short. Have fun with it, anyway. ^^

Disclaimer: I am not any sort of owner or proprietor of YYH. For all time. Seriously.

* * *

The front door slammed shut. Kurama shot up in bed, looking around as though expecting to find the source of the startling noise running around his room like a leprechaun. His emerald irises flicked over to the alarm clock on his bedside table. 4:43. Was his cousin just getting home? Loud clunking from the base of the stairs grew in volume as its originator, who obviously had no problem with the fact that half the neighborhood was probably waking to the amount of noise she was making, clomped up the stairs. He figured that she was still excited from the concert, shrugged it off, and curled up to go back to sleep.

Or he attempted to sleep, anyway.

The door to his bedroom flew open, smacking into the wall forcefully (and making a hole in the drywall, but Kurama would not find out until later). Umi stomped into the room, over to his bed, and stopped just short of getting onto his bed. Putting her hands on her hips, she glared violently at the figure of her cousin before snarling at him in something that sounded like disgust. He figured that she would go away if he pretended to be asleep.

She didn't.

"Kurama," she half-shouted, kicking him in the back with one of her heavy boots. "Get up."

The kitsune groaned. "What?"

"We have to chat."

"Can't it wait until morning?" he yawned, rolling over. As he opened a single bleary eye, he noticed the subtle movement of her hands: they clenched, the fingers flailed, then clenched again. It was the nervous twitch she'd developed from training her powers; the twitch only came out when her powers were trying to overwhelm her. Fear shot through him as he flew up in bed. "What is it?"

"I ran into Hiei today."

Kurama felt a stab of rage before getting the volatile emotion under control. "Where?"

"After the concert at a bar."

Resisting the urge, Kurama kept himself from asking why she'd been at a bar and focused on the matter at hand. "What did he want?"

She merely gave him a look. "You know. Go with him to Lord What's-His-Name's court, do something stupid, go home." Her hand twitched as she grimaced; she really needed to cut her nails.

"Damn it..." He sighed heavily, slumping forward slightly. Hadn't he told Hiei not to bother her? Now he didn't have the awkward task of bringing this up, at least... "Well, what do you think?"

"Who's this guy we're going to see?" He was pleased to hear the sardonic tone returning to her voice.

"Lord Youkai is the current leader of the Youkai Clan," he explained mildly.

Umi rolled her eyes in annoyance. "Oh, gee, thanks Shuichi; now all my questions have been answered and I can set my course of action based upon the vast knowledge I have obtained."

Kurama couldn't help it: he laughed. She wasn't amused. "Alright, alright, listen:

* * *

Eons ago, in the time before the Barrier--that's the web which exists between the dimensions of the Makai and Reikai which keeps humans and demons apart--don't interrupt, I'll explain later--the demons never bothered to cross from their terrain to the humans; there was no need. There was one demon, named Youkai, who craved power and prestige: he wanted to rule the world. In order to do such a thing, he devised an evil plan.

One day he slipped into the human world. Once there, he went to the nearest concentration of humans and slaughtered all present, completely indiscriminately. They say the river ran red, but I don't believe that. Word of his exploits reached other demons, who began to recognize Youkai on his returns to the Makai. He gathered a mighty following; together, he and his followers returned to the Human World in their quest for notoriety and infamy. The result was what the human myths refer to as the Night of the Blood Moon. It is said that the carnage of that night introduced the humans to true demons, and it is from Youkai's name which they get the name for all demons.

After that night, a much greater number of powerful demons pledged allegiance to Youkai, and he was easily able to take over much of the demon realm. As he consolidated power, his minions continued ravaging the Reikai. Spirit World was in a rut, unable to do anything about it. Having run out of ideas, King Enma called Lord Youkai forth. Some deal was struck between the two, tradition stating that King Enma relinquished any authority existing in the Makai to Youkai, in exchange for the demon to stop others from harming humans. The aggreement led to the creation of the Kekkai Barrier, and the beginning of the Youkai's rule over the Makai.

To keep power within the family, the Youkai Clan has kept itself the purest of all demon clans, and power is transfered to the eldest son, as he is the most direct descendent of the Great Youkai. All demons know never to cross the rulers of the Makai, as the repercussions are...swift and...unpleasant."

* * *

It didn't look like Umi could raise her eyebrow any more than she was, and the blatant disbelief on her face made such a caricature of herself that Kurama couldn't help but laugh silently. "What is it?" he inquired between snickers.

"There's a fucking demon mafia?" she asked, incredulous. "An inbred mafia, nonetheless? Do you really expect me to believe that?"

He nodded once. "It is the truth. The current Lord Youkai, Lord Yami, is the 54th Lord of the Realm. He is known to have a bit of a temper, so try not to enrage him."

Umi made a noise that was unmistakably unique to her: it meant to convey a tone in the grey area betwixt irritation, disgust, sarcasm, and superiority. "Tsch, he'll get over himself if we're gonna help him." Her words were strong, but the look on her face gradually became unsure.

"Something else on your mind?"

"What could he want us to do for him?"

Kurama sighed. "That, I can only speculate upon." When she looked like she wasn't going to reply, he rolled back over in another attempt to fall back asleep.

That attempt didn't last long, either.

"Well, let's go find out!" Umi exclaimed, smacking him on the arm in excitement.

"Can't this wait until tomorrow?" he groaned, looking over his shoulder. "We have until Friday to go."

"The sooner we leave, the sooner we get back," she responded, hopping up. "Come on!"

"Umi--" It was too late. She was already out of the room, and the thunking noise signified that she was making her way down the stairs. He sighed heavily, getting up from his bed and casting a glance at the clock. 5:27. Supposing that he should be getting up at about this time anyway, Kurama stretched in order to get the blood flowing before shuffling down the stairs after his eager relative.

* * *

"Umi, do you even know where you're going?"

She stopped, sighing heavily. "No." Bothered, she turned around and watched as her cousin walked up the mostly empty street toward her, turning into an alleyway before reaching her. Flustered, Umi followed him, confounded as to where he could be going. He opened a door to a seemingly random building and went in, her filing behind.

Kurama knelt on the ground, knocking on the stone tiles. Before she could even begin to ask what he was doing, he apparently found the special tile of awesomeness and lifted it up. From the depths of the abyss exuded a combination of an eerie green glow, thick whitish fog, and an unspeakable, indefinable feeling of dread.

Umi unintentionally shuddered. "What's down there?" When Kurama shot her a curious glance, she clarified, "It just feels like something...evil...is down there..." Amusement glimmered in her cousin's viridian eyes, prompting her to interrupt what she knew was going to be a scathing comment. "I'm not afraid, if that's what you intend to insinuate!"

"Of course you're afraid; all mortals quake with fear at the aura of the Demon Realm."

Both Minaminos immediately snapped their attention to the pile of boxes in the corner of the room. Sometime since they'd arrived, he'd entered, and was watching with amusement.

Umi glared at him, while Kurama got up to stand at her side, just in case. "What're you doing here?"

"I'm here to escort you to Lord Youkai," Hiei answered simply. Of course, had they bothered to truly examine him, they would have realized that, since he was currently wearing what Kurama could have identified as the uniform of the Youkai Palace. He wore a long, blood-red Chinese shirt with black trim; a long-sleeved white shirt underneath matched the swirling, curvy pattern of white embroidery on the black trim and the single stripe which went down the length of his crimson pants. The white cloth which covered his third eye and the black slippers on his feet were of the attire in which he was usually seen. Gesturing toward Kurama's body, he murmured, "Glad you've gotten dressed up to see Lord Youkai."

Kurama smirked as he glanced at his attire. "I figured Lord Youkai would enjoy my duckie pajamas."

Hiei shook his head. "Just get in there," he groused, forcing himself to control the urge to kick his friend in annoyance. "And Kurama, they would prefer to see Youko over Shuichi. If you would...?"

"Of course." When Umi looked over to ask what Hiei was talking about, she was no longer staring at her red-haired, green-eyed cousin; now, he was a silver-haired, gold-eyed demon: his nails had elongated into claws, his canines lengthened, and a silver vulpine tail and matching ears had appeared on his person. The new additions distracted her greatly--to the point where she didn't even notice he was still wearing those blue and yellow duckie pajamas--and only snapped out of her trance when he spoke again in a much deeper voice than Shuichi had ever managed. "Shall we go?"

* * *

And that's the end. Tragically short, yes, I'm aware. But that just means another chapter quicker! :D Review for the win.

_I'm frightened by what I see  
But somehow, I know that there's much more to come  
Immobilized by my fear  
And soon to be blinded by tears_

~_Whisper_, Evanescence


	4. Travel Tip 1: Dress Appropriately

Okay, well, as reward for your patience in sitting through and waiting with a rather short chapter, lo and behold, I have given life to the next one! An interesting one! With action! And excitement! And Lord of the Rings travel scenes! And stuff! So go, my readers, and rejoice in the majesty that is this chapter!

I hope I didn't get your expectations up too high, as that won't end well for you.

Disclaimer: YYH ain't mine. Huzzah?

* * *

The Makai, or at least the section through which they were walking, was completely flat and empty. Desolate, one might say. The plains were a strange shade of brown-grey-green, highly muted to match the blue-grey-purple sky. Umi stared blandly at the ground, examining the rather boring, patchy grass; it was a definite change from what she had been staring at. Or rather, who. For the longest time, she'd lagged behind both Hiei and her cousin--err, make that Youko--with a look of confusion mixed with disgust. Sure, Youko was still her cousin...technically...somewhere on the inside...but it was weird that he had this...other persona, other body, other self. The major difference between Jekyll and Hyde was that Hyde here was must less protective of her than Jekyll, more indifferent; the sad thing was that she knew she was going to need that protection right about now. And it wasn't like she could turn to Hiei for that; he was just--

"Umi," he repeated forcefully, stopping right in front of her. She looked up just in time to stop before running into him. When the girl finally came to her senses, he continued, "Are you alright?"

"Like you would care, but yes." The reply came out faster than her brain could think, and it was much meaner than it should have been. Of course, she didn't care that much, as she was still mad at him.

The fire demon shook his head, obviously questioning why he even bothered. "You need to focus. In the forest outside Youkai Palace holds the scum of the Demon World; they will tear you apart. So stay close."

Umi glanced between the two, trying to figure out which would be less awkward. That was a fruitless task. The fire demon turned back around and began walking again, the kitsune in tail, and finally the girl lagging behind.

After a few moments, along the nearby horizon appeared a tree line. It was dark, each individual tree some shade of black, dark grey, or dark mocha; the apparent density of the forest only added to the foreboding. An annoyance crossed her face as she sauntered behind the boys. That forest didn't look so tough; what made Hiei think she couldn't take care of herself? She'd show him. The first demon she saw would get a serious ass-kicking, that was for sure--

"Umi!"

"AH!" she shrieked, jumping back a few feet. Unintentionally, a bolt of lightening shot from her hand, jut missing Youko, who had reached out to grab her attention. "Good lord, Shu--Kur--You--whatever the fuck your name is! Don't _do_ that!"

"I'm just making sure you're on your guard," Youko answered smoothly. At the odd mixture of irritation, confoundment, disbelief, and fear, he continued, "Something the matter?"

She shook her head. "Just weirded out, freaked out, and out of my element, that's all." There was a fraction of a pause as she considered to test how far she could push this half of her cousin for similarities, eventually adding, "Mr. Duckie Jammies."

Youko turned his attention momentarily toward his attire before replying, "My, what an ensemble." He seemed torn between laughter and disapproval.

Epic points to Youko for being mothafucking awesome. Umi snickered as his awkward response. "So, what were you saying? Something about paying attention or whatever?"

You need to focus so you don't get hurt; the demons in the forest--is there something distracting you?!" It was apparent that he was getting flustered by her severe case of ADD.

"The tail..." she murmured, watching as his tail swished back and forth in irritation. Youko smacked himself in the head before turning to Hiei.

"Perhaps we should put her on a leash," he suggested.

"Alright, alright," Umi ceded, throwing her hands up. "Alright, I'll focus. I just can't walk behind Kurama anymore; the animal appendages are far too distracting."

"Then walk up front," Hiei groused, grabbing her by the wrist and dragging her forward. With him in front, her in the middle, and Youko trailing, the three entered the forest.

For the first ten or so minutes, the trio walked without conversation; the sound that the relatively stealthless human girl made by snapping every fallen twig into a thousand pieces was the only thing that prohibited silence. Finally, someone spoke.

"What did you mean?"

Umi looked up from watching her feet (in the all-too-vain attempt to not step on every bough and break it) to the back of Hiei's head. "I didn't say--or think--anything."

"Earlier. You made some crack about the harbinger of death. What was that about?" Hiei didn't look at her, but Umi could swear that his freaky third eye was staring at her, as though peering through her soul.

She shuddered. "It's nothing, really. Just a nightmare, that's all."

There was a pause. "With me in it?"

Another pause, more awkward than the last. "...Yeah..." She wasn't sure why, but telling him about her dream was different than telling other people; it seemed much more bizarre, obscene, and creepy in telling him.

Before anybody could open their mouth to make a comment, both Hiei and Youko stopped, having picked up on a few energy signals. During the process of determining from whence the demons were coming, one of the creatures jumped out from the trees, tackling the human to the ground and pinning her down. Hiei and Youko pulled out their respective weapons of choice, about to jump to her aid, but were halted by the arrival of other demons. With the slice of a blade and the crack of a whip, the new arrivals were cut into two or more pieces and collapsed to the ground.

Or so they thought. Apparently they'd missed one. And the only way they realized was by the loud cracking made only by bone breaking, accompanied by a high-pitched scream of pain.

Apparently she hadn't trained enough over the last year, because she simply couldn't throw the demon off of her. It didn't help that he probably weighed twice, if not more, her weight. The creature had her right arm pinned behind her back, and pulled it continually back until her humerus broke, causing her to scream. To her, the pain was absolutely excruciating; Umi had never broken a long bone before. Her body reacted before her brain could: long metal spikes shot from her back, impaling the demon in multiple locations. The pressure that had been applied to her arm dissipated, and, after a moment, the weight of the body was removed as well. One of the friendly demons grabbed her by the left arm and dragged her to her feet.

"Are you alright?" Hiei immediately asked, even before she got her feet beneath her.

She couldn't answer without her voice cracking, and she didn't want to show weakness. Not now, not--

"This does not bode well," Youko mused gravely, lightly touching her arm and causing her to yelp. "How far are we from the palace?"

"Half an hour at the pace we've been going," Hiei informed quickly.

He didn't much like that answer. "Do we have anything to use to set the splint?" Hiei shook his head. "Damn it..." After thinking for a few moments, the fox demon pulled out a handful of seeds from his pocket. Infusing his aura into them, he grew a pair of thick, flat rods of dogwood and a length of vine to bind it all together. Touching her arm lightly, he stated, "Umi, I'm going to push the bone back into your arm, so brace yourself."

In a manner she felt was far too pathetic, she shoved her face into the crook of Hiei's neck, and gripped his hand as tightly as possible. Swiftly, Youko yanked her arm, extending it to its full length and causing the girl to scream again; his hands moved quickly, wrapping the splints around her arm. "There," he said as he finished. "That'll stay until we get the Youkai's healer to look at it."

Umi lifted her head up, one bleary green eye looking at what was her cousin on the inside somewhere. "Are we going now?" Her voice cracked once. Damn it.

A twang of pity shot through Youko; he figured that Shuichi's emotions toward his cousin were coming through. Stoic, he picked her up, tossing her over his shoulder, and gestured to Hiei as he darted off.

* * *

The Palace of the Youkai Clan was an enormous, Gothic structure, whose massive black granite walls and towering spires created the imposing edifice. Massive columns, enormous arches, immense flying buttresses, and considerable relieves decorated the building's exterior, alongside a menagerie of gargoyles (who, it turned out, were _actually_ living creatures, who flitted and stretched and readjusted themselves every few minutes to maintain comfort). At either side of the enormous, intricately-carved doors stood a guard. The uniform seemed to be exactly the same as the one worn by Hiei; the only difference was the white embroidery on the shirt. The guard on the left tapped his halberd against the ground once to signal the other to hold his up as to block the approaching trio.

"Move aside," Hiei ordered, sending death glares at the ogres, who were at least twice his size. "Lord Youkai sent for these two."

The guard on the left shared a glance with the guard on the right. After a few moments, they relented with a look of begrudging reluctance. The fire demon shot them annoyed glances as he ushered the others between the black barriers into the dark abyss of the building.

Deep within the bowels of the palace, designed in a manner only even closely emulated exclusively in the medieval palace of Versailles (and even then, only imperfectly replicating the intricacies of the building), the three continued down a long hall. Although torches lined its walls, a feeling of darkness and oppression imposed itself on the surroundings. At each meeting point off the main hall stood another guard, each with the same contemptuous grin on their faces. Umi liked to think it was because of Youko's duckie pajamas, but she certainly suspected something else was to blame for their stares.

"Hey, Youko," she piped up, staring at the vaulted ceilings mindlessly.

"Yes, Umi?" he responded thoughtlessly, not bothering to look at her.

"Can you put me down now? I feel like a sack of potatoes."

"Can you walk?"

"My arm broke, not my leg."

"I guess somebody's feeling better," he murmured, amused, as he set the girl down.

"I'd feel a lot better with a couple Valium and a doctor," she snarked, working very hard not to look at her ghetto cast, lest she begin thinking of the pain again.

"Lord Youkai will provide a capable healer," Hiei informed, earning matching, unamused glances from the other two.

"How is it that you came to work for Lord Youkai?" Youko inquired, raising an eyebrow. "You aren't known to be of the subservient type..."

Hiei hn'd, looking away. "It was an offer I was unable to refuse."

"If you say so." Youko was obviously unconvinced, but didn't care enough to continue the conversation. This was most probably because they had arrived at the largest door that the girl had ever seen in her entire life, including the front door they had walked through a few minutes prior.

Enormous, ornate, the black marble doors loomed over them. Gold accents around the trim and on the hardware stood out in stark contrast to the blackness. At first, the intricacies prompted her to think that she was looking at the Gates of Paradise; however, the detailed relieves were not of holy, religious images, instead consisting of morbidity, mayhem, and madness. It was hard for her to decide if the door was mocking blasphemy or simply macabre mimicry; luckily, she was spared making that decision by the loud fwoosh noise made by the slabs as they opened, allowing the three to enter.

The Royal Hall was wide, open, and spacious. High arched tray ceilings were supported by many, many wide columns. At the end of the length of blood-red and gold rug leading from the door to the other side of the room was a pair of thrones, seating one individual at the moment, with a guard on either side. The light from the large arched windows on the right side of the room only revealed half of the face of the person sitting on the left throne.

He seemed to be a regular human, judging on his looks alone. A middle-aged man, he managed to hold a heavy authority over the court with his barely-past-his-prime powerful build, draped in a fine black-and-vermillion pinstripe suit and just-for-show crimson cape. He had bright tangerine eyes, narrow, knowing, hidden beneath the shadow of his wavy, lightly graying, amber hair. As Hiei approached, he dropped to one knee for a moment before returning to his feet.

"As per your request, Lord Youkai," Hiei began, working hard to keep his gaze averted. "I have brought you the assistants you seek, sir." Perhaps Lord Youkai didn't notice, but Youko and Umi both certainly thought that Hiei was having difficulty with all that respect.

"Very good, Hiei," Youkai murmured in a low, nearly paternal tone. Turning to the newcomers, he simply smiled. "Youko, Umi, welcome."

Youko bowed deeply, as custom dictated. Umi waved. Youko grabbed the elemental by the wrist and dragged her to the floor. "Genuflect," he hissed, "show some respect." When the two returned to their feet, Youkai continued.

"I am pleased that you would come in my hour of need. For, as you must know, I am continually forced to show my authority to Spirit World every now and again, as Lord Enma tends to forget. It seems that it is time again to reassert my power over him. I intend to achieve this by way of thievery of a valuable item which will be sorely missed."

"How may we assist you, sire?" Youko inquired respectfully.

"You will be a part of my personally patroned team to retrieve this item," Youkai informed factually. "You will bring to me the Key to Paradise."

"Hold up," Umi interrupted, unclear. "If we steal the Key to Paradise, then how are dead folk supposed to get into the good afterlife?"

The leader laughed at her audacity and utter cluelessness. "They don't, human girl; they don't."

She blinked. "So do you intend on giving it back...like, ever?"

"Umi," Hiei chastised, glaring at her in a manner which clearly meant that she was to shut her mouth before she got somebody in trouble.

"Perhaps," the leader replied, pensive. "If Koenma is willing to pay the right price..." After he thought for a moment, he returned to the matters at hand. "Well? How about it? Will you take up my task?"

Before Umi could say anything else to insult the court or get them all into trouble, Youko quickly answered to the affirmative. Youkai appeared absolutely pleased and simultaneously haughtily justified. As he sent them away, he added a command to one of his guards.

"Bring them some more appropriate clothing. They cannot commit crimes in my honorable name in duckie pajamas."

* * *

Okay, I don't know about you guys, but I am seriously entertained by the idea of Youko running around the Makai in his duckie pajamas (I am also entertained by the idea that Kurama even HAS duckie pajamas), but alas, that saga has to end. Oh well. Hope y'all had fun, and I'll see you on the reviews/update. Ciao!

P.S.: Super special awesome bonus points to whoever can pick out the Disney quote in this chapter. Yeah, I suggest you go back and read it again; it's in there. :D

_But it's just the price I pay  
Destiny is calling me  
Open up my eager eyes  
'Cause I'm Mr. Brightside._

~_Mr. Brightside_, The Killers


	5. Loose Lips Sink Ships

Welcome back, faithful readers! I love you all and your comments of encouragement, and have brought you a brand new, hot-off-my-notebook chapter full of...stuff. ^^ You'll see.

Oh, and, as for my Disney quote challenge? Youko's command, "Genuflect, show some respect." Straight out of Aladdin (Genie's song _Prince Ali_). Yeah, I'm nerdy like that. XD

Disclaimer: See previous chapters; I ain't feelin' witty.

* * *

Yusuke groaned in aggravation as he leaned against the lamp post on the street corner outside the coffee shop. This was the meeting spot agreed upon by the three of them--himself, Umi, and Kuwabara--for their weekly plotting sessions. Yusuke and Kuwabara liked it because nobody they knew from school would pass by and bother them; Umi liked it because the coffee was delicious. Either way, the meeting point was always on that street corner at 3:45. It was now 4:32.

"Where is she?" he griped, crossing his arms in irritation. He didn't look at his companion, but instead glared at passers by, generally scaring them away.

"She's probably just running late," Kuwabara replied, watching as another person ran off screaming. "She's got to have something really good planned..."

"She'd better, for her to be forty-five minutes late," Yusuke groused, sending a condescending glance toward Kuwabara, obviously trying to tell him that his explanation was stupid.

"Well, maybe she got in trouble with Kurama," Kuwabara suggested, bothered by the glance. "It'd be pretty hard for him not to notice all her massive energy releasing like that, and we pulled a pretty dangerous stung--I doubt he'd condone that."

The Spirit Detective made a contemptuous noise. "Kurama doesn't care. Nobody got hurt."

"I dunno; I still think she got in trouble and kurama won't let her out of the house."

"Kurama's still at school; what would he know?"

"Why don't we go check, then? It's better than standing here."

Yusuke nearly jumped at the opportunity to get out of there. "Sounds good to me!"

* * *

Kadaj sighed heavily, sitting on the mildly uncomfortable welcome mat. Umi hadn't been at school today, and she was definitely acting weird when they left the bar the other day. He glanced at his watch again. 4:53. A cross look passed over his face. He'd been sitting on their front step since school got out, seeing as how they hadn't answered the door. For her sake, he thought bitterly, she'd better have been in a horrible accident; otherwise, he'd cause that accident for making him worry so much.

Loud, bickering voices headed his way drew the American's attention. He stared at the boys, a couple years his junior, in a very intense manner for a few minutes as they approached, swearing that he'd seen them before. As they arrived at the gate, Kadaj finally realized who they were: they were Shuichi's friends, Yusuke and Kuwabara; he'd seen them a few times while at the Minamino residence. Before he had a chance to call out to them, the one he felt was Yusuke began shouting at the dark house.

"Come on out, fox-boy!" he hollered obnoxiously, flailing like an imbecile to get the attention of the people inside. "We know you're in there!"

"Yeah Kurama!" The one he assumed was Kuwabara by default concurred, moving in a similar manner to Yusuke. "Come on! If this is about Friday, that's our fault!"

"Don't tell him that," Yusuke snapped, immediately stopping his flailing and shoving Kuwabara. "We won't be able to do it again if he knows we were in on it."

"Hey, don't shove me, Urameshi," Kuwabara responded angrily, shoving his companion.

"I'll shove you if I want to, Kuwabara, and there isn't anything you can do about it."

"Oh yeah? I'll show you!"

Kadaj nearly smacked himself in the head when the two began physically fighting. As the one in green knocked the one in blue to the ground, he got up off the doormat, dusted himself off, and slowly began making his way toward the fighters. While he tried to think of a way to break up the fight without getting involved, a blue-haired girl came flying at the two on an oar. Kadaj blinked. An oar? Why was she flying on an oar--wait, why--how--flying?! His thoughts became completely disjointed as he watched the girl in the pink kimono land near the boys. He stopped moving to eavesdrop...unintentionally, of course...

"Yusuke! Kuwabara! Knock it off!" she shrieked, beating one of them with the magic oar.

"Geeze Botan, what the hell was that for?" Yusuke whined as he got up, rubbing the spot on his head where the girl had hit him. "What do you want?"

"You've got another mission," she answered, thoroughly bothered, placing an emphasis on the last word. "Lord Koenma needs to see you right away!"

Mission? Confused, Kadaj took a few silent steps forward.

"Come off it Botan! Can't a guy get a break every now and then?" Yusuke complained, crossing his arms in frustration.

"Yusuke, it's your _job_!"

"Maybe someone else needs to be Spirit Detective."

"That's the price you paid to come back to life," Botan snapped. "Now come along."

"I'll do whatever it is," Kuwabara offered, stepping forward. "Urameshi obviously doesn't have the moral stamina for such a job."

Yusuke laughed loudly and derisively. "You wouldn't last ten minutes as Spirit Detective!"

"I would so!"

"Maybe in your dreams."

"I'll prove it!"

"Yeah, right."

"Yusuke! Kuwabara!" Botan yelled, beating the both of them with her infamous oar. "Stop arguing! You'll both have to come anyway--you know what, grab Kurama while we're here," she added, interrupting herself.

"We've been trying, but he won't answer," Kuwabara responded. "We think he isn't gonna let anybody in until Umi's punishment for the fireworks is up."

Botan sighed heavily. "You two delinquents are a terrible influence on that girl. I hope you at least have been training with her?"

Yusuke laughed again. "Kuwabara can't take Umi's punches without crying like a schoolgirl."

"Can so!"

Botan threw her hands up in defeat as the two began arguing again, turning toward the house. "Boys, knock it off. I'm going to see if Kurama is even home."

"He isn't," a voice answered from just beyond the bushes (which were just behind the fence) automatically.

Kadaj immediately clamped his hands over his mouth and ducked behind the brush. Cursing himself, he prayed that the girl and her companions hadn't heard; somehow, he felt that they didn't want him to hear what they'd been talking about. Unfortunately for him, they heard his comment all right.

"Who was that?" Botan quickly questioned, glancing around wildly in search of the voice's originator.

"I don't know," Yusuke answered slowly, as though in thought, cautiously adding, "but it sounded familiar."

Kuwabara nodded in agreement as he got up off the sidewalk. "Yeah, I've heard it before too..." As Yusuke began opening the gate to Kurama's house, Kuwabara balked. "Urameshi! What're you doing? That's trespassing!"

"Well, someone else is already doin' it," Yusuke reasoned as he opened the gate. "I'm just making sure that whoever's snooping around Kurama's house doesn't have any bad ideas, that's all."

Kadaj was in quite the pickle. If he let Yusuke find him, he was going to be in the awkward position of explaining what he was doing hiding behind the bushes and eavesdropping on them. If he got up, dusted himself off a bit, and pretended like he wasn't spying on them and that he hadn't heard a thing, he might be able to get off scott-free. The second option was clearly the superior one. Thusly, he got up and began dusting himself off in a highly dignified manner just as Yusuke spotted him.

"Hey, you!" he called, walking over. Before he continued ranting, he looked over the person as though he'd seen him in a blurry photo and couldn't quite remember if it was the same person or not. "Who're you and what're you doing here?"

Before Kadaj could open his mouth to answer, Kuwabara managed to beat him to it. "I recognize that guy, Urameshi: he's Umi's American friend, remember?"

"Oh, yeah..." He turned a rather menacing glare toward Kadaj. "Well, what were you doing hiding behind those bushes?"

Oh boy. "I wasn't," Kadaj responded, working very hard not to look like he was lying.

Yusuke raised an eyebrow. He wasn't buying it. "Then what were you doing?"

"I fell." Good save, Kadaj. "I was checking to see if Umi and Shuichi were okay because they weren't at school today. They haven't answered the door, and nobody's answering the phone. So I was going to leave, and I tripped and fell."

The eyebrow didn't move. "Then why did you answer Botan's question?"

Fuck. "Um, well...I heard her say she was going to see if they were home, so I answered."

"Uh-huh." He obviously saw through the lie. "Did you hear anything else, seeing as how we've been shouting for the past five, ten minutes here?"

Double fuck. "Nothing I understand." Truth.

Yusuke was hardly impressed; Kuwabara seemed rather bored with all of this, despite the fact that Botan was freaking out, running back and forth and rambling endlessly about more things Kadaj didn't get. Eventually, Yusuke groaned, whirling around at Botan. "How about you shut up so he doesn't hear anything else?! Yeesh!" He returned to Kadaj. "So what did you hear?"

Feeling rather stupid that he was getting picked on by a middle school kid (although, he consoled himself, a very, very scary middle school kid), Kadaj murmured mindlessly, "I don't know, something about fox-boy or kurama, who I'm going to go ahead and assume are the same person--probably Shuich, but what do I know--and a mission or a job, and some guy named Koenma, and coming back to life...man, I don't know. I can't make much sense of it."

Botan looked rather pale, and neither Yusuke nor Kuwabara looked pleased about anything that had come from Kadaj's mouth. Maybe he should have stayed on the ground...

"We'll just have to take him to Spirit World with us to get his memory erased, I suppose," Botan surmised after a few moments of awkward silence and the restoration of much of her color. "We can't let an ordinary human know about these things."

It was Kadaj's turn to be pale. "Erase my memory?"

* * *

Spirit World was huge, no doubt about it. Honestly, Kadaj saw no necessity for all of the overdecorated largeness of the place; it seemed kind of tacky. That thought aside, he sauntered behind the others as they headed toward a pair of enormous doors, wondering what they were going to do to erase his memory--or, better question, how much? All of it? That wouldn't be very good for him if they took all of it. Unfortunately, he had no time to consider the matter any further, as they had just passed through those ridiculously huge double doors into another vast room: an office.

At the immense desk sat a toddler. Bewilderment hit Kadaj as he wondered who was looking after the child and why they had left him at this desk...alone...

And then it spoke.

"What took you so long, Yusuke?! We're in serious danger here!" the toddler shouted through his pacifier.

Yusuke waved it off. "What could be the trouble, pacifier-breath?"

The child looked bothered. "I'm going to ignore that. We've got a serious situation. Spirit World is going to be under attack very soon."

The three gasped. "By whom?" Botan inquired for Yusuke. "We're the best-fortified place in any realm!"

"But there is somebody who can find a way in," the child, who by now Kadaj had presumed was Koenma, replied forebodingly.

Botan gasped dramatically. "You mean--?"

"Uh-huh." With the press of a button, an enormous television came down from some abyss and turned on, revealing an enlarged image of a middle-aged man better known as Lord Youkai Yami. The demon's magnified orange irises laughed as they glanced out at the audience. Kadaj, after making a mental note about the over encompassing theme of Spirit World being hugeness, stared into those eyes, as if hypnotized, while Koenma explained who the Youkais were. Then--

"How have you guys not sent any other Spirit Detective after these guys?!" Yusuke shrieked. "Why did you wait until it was me?!"

"I'm not sending you after them!" Koenma snapped. "You would never be able to take down Lord Youkai! Going after him would be like suicide!"

"Then what the hell am I doing?"

"This," Koenma answered, clicking another button on his giant remote of infinite buttons. On the screen appeared a key of solid gold and fashioned in the manner of all old-fashioned keys. What looked like half of a puzzle piece sat on the edge of the long, round shaft which made up the body, ending in a three-leaved Celtic knot adorned with an exponential number of extra knots and holes within and accented by precious gems in a completely symmetrical pattern. It was...epic. There was no other word in Kadaj's mind for it.

"A key?" Kuwabara asked, rather stupidly (in Kadaj's opnion--of course it was a key!). He turned back to Koenma. "What would this all-powerful demon guy want with a pretty key?"

"That's not just any key, Kuwabara," Koenma explained gravely, holding up a finger for emphasis. "That is the Key to Paradise--the only tool to unlock the gates to the afterlife. Without it, no good souls can pass on; instead, they will be doomed to wander the Earth--or worse: my office! I need you to protect the key at all costs!"

"Question," Yusuke interrupted blandly, raising his hand in a mocking manner. "If fighting this Youkai guy is suicide, who are we supposed to protect this key?"

"Lord Youkai won't come himself," Koenma answered condescendingly. "He'll send a team of demons best equipped to steal from Spirit World and gloat about it afterward. You can probably take care of whoever he sends to retrieve the key and avoid disaster."

"...Probably--?"

"Botan," Koenma interjected, completely ignoring the Spirit Detective. He gestured toward Kadaj. "Who is this human?"

"Oh!" Botan exclaimed, embarrassed red. "This is one of Umi's human friends..."

"Uh-huh." Koenma was unimpressed. "And just what is he doing here?"

"Well, he heard us talking before we got here, and we brought him to get his memory erased and...well...I guess we got a little distracted..." By her nervous laughter, it was obvious that botan knew she was in trouble.

"Botan you idiot!" Koenma hollered, flailing violently. "We can't erase his memory now! It'll cause too much damage to his brain and we can't have that." Sighing heavily, he flopped back into his chair. "You, boy," he finally called, looking at Kadaj. "Will anybody notice your absence?"

Kadaj had to think. "I'd like to think so, but I doubt it highly."

Koenma returned again to the others. "He can remain here and keep lookout with Yusuke and Kuwabara; I'll figure out what to do with him after the threat has passed."

Relieved to not be in serious trouble, the group turned to leave, just as Koenma called out for the final time. "Kadaj, come here." The American exchanged glances with the other bewildered humans before obeying. Before Koenma spoke to him, he shouted at the others. "Get out of here! You have an assignment!" Rather unprepared for the exclamation, the three darted out, slamming the door behind them.

* * *

And that's the end of this chapter! Loads of Yusuke and Kuwabara, and yes, I've decided to continue the utility of the wonderful American Kadaj. So we'll be seeing him in future chapters. Stay tuned for another crisp new chapter soon.

Und, of course:

_I can transcend you and mentally bend you,  
But I can't handle the shit that I'm into  
I have been blinded i'm always reminded,  
Of the things I've wanted but I never could find_

~_Starless_, Crossfade


	6. A Curl of Lip and the Furrow of Eyes

Okay, so I took a little vacation from the fic--I know, I'm terrible--but I got distracted by my video games. Lucky all, I had about half of this written before the game addiction set in. So here y'all go, shiny new chapter, courtesy of me. Read and review and all that good janks.

Disclaimer: See chapter 4

* * *

The three had been directed to another set of rooms off the main hall of the Youkai Palace. They were told that the rooms would be identified by the presence of a demon, shorter than Youko with bright gold hair and dead black eyes, clad in a white uniform. Such a demon, the guard neglected to mention, was a feline creature with a pointed dislike of humans, who greeted the group thusly:

"Good day, Master Hiei, Master Youko," he murmured respectfully, bowing deeply. "It is good to see you both." When he rose, his noir eyes caught sight of the girl. "Ew, what is that abomination?"

All three of them glared. "She is your first patient, Byoki," Hiei flatly stated, malice on the tip of his tongue. "You are to fix her arm--that's an order." Byoki wasn't pleased about it, but he didn't protest. Instead, he led Umi into the room in front of which he had been standing moments ago, while Hiei and Youko went into the room next door.

Upon entering, Youko noticed the pile of clothes on the nightstand with his name on it, and chuckled inwardly. "It seems that the Lord Youkai does not approve of Shuichi's choice in attire."

Hiei snorted, taking a seat on the windowsill. "You look ridiculous." He paused. "It's embarrassing."

Youko again laughed as he began to unfold his new clothes. "Well, the girl really wanted to leave, and Shuichi isn't fond of letting her roam the streets alone at night."

Rolling his eyes, Hiei turned his attention toward the scenery outside the castle. For a few moments, all that was heard was the rustle of clothes as Youko changed. Somewhere in the middle of this process, Youko opened his mouth again, this time with a knowledgeable grin set on it. "So Hihei, what was the offer you simply couldn't refuse?"

Resisting the urge to send his glare Youko's way, he responded, "It's a Youkai offer. I couldn't refuse no matter what it was." He could tell that the kitsune was giving him an annoyed glance with his ambergris eyes. "What do you want, Youko?"

"I'm just curious as to how you managed to become enlisted by Lord Youkai; you must have done something to get his attention..." There was obviously a smirk in his voice, and it was getting on the fire demon's last nerve.

He growled, obviously defeated. "If you must know..."

* * *

_It all started a little over a year ago, just after the death of Orpheus. He was finally back where he had dreamed of for so long, and he was well on his way to his destination. Unfortunately, his notoriety preceded him: every low-life, pathetic excuse for an apparition that had even thought about the Dark Tournament held the strange belief that it would be a good idea to attempt to kill Hiei to increase their own infamy. Naturally, there simply wasn't anybody who was even remotely challenging._

_Well, that's a lie. There was one who was vaguely challenging, but Hiei killed him. Slowly and painfully._

_Turned out he was a guard from the Youkai Palace, and Lord Helios had seen the carnage. Apparently, he had been impressed, and insisted that Hiei join him at the court._

_"Why would I freely choose to be subservient to the likes of you?" Hiei snarled in reply, sending one of his patented, ruby glares toward the intruder._

_"You wouldn't," Helios answered flatly. "But here's the rub: we have connections to all apparitions here and in the Nigenkai. Unless you want your precious Yukina harmed, I would suggest you choose subservience."_

_Hiei's eyes narrowed, a low growl rumbling from his throat. "And just what is stopping me from killing you where you stand?"_

_"Breeding." There seemed to be a large amount of mockery and malice embedded into that single word._

_There was a moment of strained silence. "What does the court want with me?"_

_A grin grew on Helios's face. "How would you like to steal from Spirit World...again?"_

* * *

"And that's what happened," he summed up sardonically, throwing his glare toward the now-dressed Youko. "Are you pleased?"

Youko looked over his new attire. All in black, it consisted of loose-fitting pants, cuffed at the bottom just above his slippers, a basic, long-sleeved shirt with sleeves slightly longer than he would want, and a long, scarf-like length of fabric that he tied around his waist to serve as a belt. After a moment, he returned Hiei's glance. "Yes, yes I am." Hiei didn't appreciate the sarcasm. Before he was able to retort, a shrill, wordless scream echoed from the room next door; neither exchanged a look before running off to investigate.

* * *

"So...explain this again...why am I being strapped down?" Umi inquired, raising an eyebrow.

"Shut up, human," the healer spat, tightening a leather band a bit too snugly for her comfort. The unwarranted retort earned him a rather enraged glance from the girl tied up to the chair. Uncaring, Byoki turned to his surgical bag, rummaging through it for an unknown item.

"What did I ever do to you?" Umi groused, attempting to make herself more comfortable (but failing miserably). "What could I possibly have done in my whole two minutes of knowing you to piss you off so very much?" At every question, Byoki's white striped tail swished and his similarly-patterned ears twitched in irritation.

More dramatically than necessary, Byoki pulled out a large knife of great length and many sharp teeth. He seemed entertained by the sustained look of fear on her face as he returned to her chair. For a moment, he thought about warning her not to move, but then he decided that he didn't care and slashed his blade at her arm. A slight yelp accompanied her eyes squeezing shut as the knife plunged through the makeshift splint on her arm. She sighed in relief when he placed the medicinal foliage and huge blade down on the table. The relief didn't last long.

"So how does this whole healing thing work?" she tried lightly, cringing every time he poked at her broken bone.

"It'll have to be amputated," Byoki decided, too jubilant to pretend to be sorry. "I suggest you prepare yourself."

"What?! You can't take my arm off!"

"Watch me." None too carefully, he grabbed her shoulder with one hand and her elbow with the other. He didn't bother to let the girl brace herself before he began ripping the appendage off.

She screamed, shrill and painful. The bone cracked and grinded against itself, prompting more of her shrieks than the massive amount of blood which began to flow from the wound. Finally, words came.

"Motherfucking bastard child of a wanton bitch!" she screeched, trying to pull back but being unable due to her compromising position. "Let the fuck go of my arm!"

"Don't tell me how to do my job, human," Byoki snapped, glaring at her. "Who's the doctor here?"

"Obviously not you!"

"Why you little--"

"Byoki!"

The demonic doctor whipped around to see the people now standing in the doorway. Upon recognizing them, he (very cordially) greeted, "Good evening, Master Hiei, Master Youko. How may I assist you?"

"What is all this screaming about?" Hiei demanded, giving a disapproving glare toward the demon.

"Just fixing her arm, sir," Byoki informed happily. "Was that not what you asked?"

"He's fucking ripping my goddamm arm off!" Umi hollered, gesturing toward her arm with her head.

"Silence, human!" Byoki replied harshly. "Nobody requested your opinion!"

Umi opened her mouth to continue swearing, but a spasm in her arm (which was hardly hanging on by a bit of muscle) caused her to cry out in pain wordlessly instead, eventually developing into the fragmented curse, "Fucking damn son of a shit..."

This prompted the fire demon to send a fiery, hateful stare toward Byoki. "What did I tell you to do?"

"Fix her arm, sir." The demon's tail twitched in anxiety.

"Did I say you should remove the ailing appendage?"

"No, sir." Another twitch.

"Then fix her fucking arm before she dies of blood loss, you moronic buffoon!" Hiei narrowed his eyes and clenched his fist as he snarled at the subordinate demon. "I will not tolerate this insubordination!"

Byoki flinched, cowering back to Umi's chair. "Yes, master," he squeaked, turning toward the now semi-conscious girl and getting right to work. His hands moved quickly, generating the energy necessary to regrow and develop the flesh and bone which had been previously damaged. As he worked, a third person entered the room.

"Such vulgarities," the young man mused, "need not be reverberated through these hallowed walls. What causes such obscenities?"

Both Hiei and Youko, more or less as a reaction, bowed toward the newcomer. This man was of high stature, wearing a dark suit similar to that of Lord Youkai. His bright, nearly pale, skin practically glowed in the darkness of the room; however, his complexion nowhere near matched the brightness of his white-blonde hair and titian eyes.

"It is merely due to an act of rebelliousness, Your Lordship," Hiei explained, not quite masking the malice in his voice. "Byoki shall be severely punished for his transgressions."

The man laughed. "And to think I doubted your abilities, Hiei." He laughed quietly to himself. "Well, as soon as your underling has finished his task, your presence--all of your presences--has been requested by Lord Youkai."

"May I inquire as to the reason?" Youko mildly questioned. At receiving an unreadable glance from the newcomer, he clarified, "I only inquire in the interest of the human girl, who has little stamina and much difficulty with the change in environment."

The man nodded once. "He wishes to see her skills, as well as confirm those of your group, to ensure that he has chosen the most qualified."

Both Hiei and Youko nodded, murmuring, "Yes, Lord Helios." With that, Helios left the room to return to the grand halls of his father to await the thief group's return.

At his departure, the fire and fox demons exchanged glances. It was as though a conversation had passed between the two, as Youko walked off in the direction that Helios had traveled moments earlier, moving with no real motivation or determination. Simultaneously, Hiei turned toward the elemental and the demon doctor, who had just finished with his task. A particularly menacing glare was sent toward Byoki.

"Get out of my sight," Hiei commanded at the tiger demon, growling as the creature scampered from the room. With a much less terrifying expression, he addressed Umi. "Is it fixed?"

Umi half-shrugged as much as her bindings allowed. "It certainly feels attached. Hurts a little bit still." At the long, awkward pause, she added, "So, can you untie me? I feel uncomfortable in such a compromising position..."

Rolling his eyes in an emotion betwixt condescendment and entertainment, Hiei made his way over to Umi and began unfastening the latches on her limbs. There was no dialogue between the two; the clank of the latches was the only thing preventing silence in the room. After a few moments, he unlatched the final one, and the girl got up, stretching, before a pile of clothes was stuffed into her newly-freed hands. She blinked a few times in confusion.

"What's this?" she asked, looking at them awkwardly.

"Your uniform," Hiei answered. "You're to see lord Youkai and look respectable while you're at it."

Umi scanned the outfit, noting that it was the same as Youko's, only with a colorful set of neon symbols adorning the scarf that was to go around her waist. Then she moved her attentions again to Hiei, who was giving her an annoyed glance. "Aren't you going to leave?"

His viridian irises narrowed before turning his back toward her. It took her a moment to trust him not to turn around before she began to undress. Taking off her fishnet over shirt and her black undershirt, she tossed them aside, making a face at all the blood on t hem. Pity; they were such nice things. Oh well. As she pulled the new shirt over her head, she thought she heard Hiei mutter something.

"What was that?" Her question was cautious, but harsh, as she figured he had said something malicious without prompting.

"I was apologizing," Hiei repeated, somewhat cross, resisting the urge to turn around and glare at her. "My intentions were purely in self-interest, not to harm you in any way."

Umi completely stopped, somewhere in the process of struggling to put her shirt on. "Really?"

"Yes."

"Why are you apologizing now?" During the pause which followed, she regained her ability to move and continued dressing herself.

"We will be working together for Lord Youkai, and the task will never be accomplished if there is malice between us. I suggest that we bury the proverbial hatchet." Somewhere in his bland, explicative tone was a sincere apology, and Umi certainly appreciated it.

"Yeah, alright," she consented, smiling pleasantly. "I mean, I guess I don't have any right to be angry with you if you really mean it..."

"Hn." A beat. "Lord Youkai wishes to see you abilities. I assume you've been training?"

Umi nodded. Realizing that Hiei couldn't see, she spoke, "Yeah."

"Has anybody taught you to fight?"

"Kinda...sorta...Yusuke and Kuwabara try..."

That was certainly a sub-par answer. "Lord Youkai will not be pleased..."

"Do you have to call hhim that, even when he's not around? What kind of demon is he, anyway? And why hasn't Koenma sent someone to whoop his ass?"

"Are you dressed yet? Lord youkai isn't patient." It seemed that Hiei was ignoring her questions.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm just putting on my shoes--okay, done."

"Then come."

* * *

Upon rearriving in the throne room, the two were greeted with the sight of freshly slaughtered cadavers and pints of blood which pooled in places and spattered in others. Youko stood pleasantly in the room, licking the blood from his claws. Lord Youkai sat in his throne, looking particularly pleased, while Lord Helios stood at his father's side with a similar expression on his countenance.

"Anything else, your lordship?" Youko questioned, just having finished his sanitary maintenance.

"That is enough, Youko," Lord Youkai answered. "You are dismissed." Youko bowed deeply before walking to the entrance of the hall, passing by Umi and Hiei. The Lord of the Realm focused his attention on the newcomers. "Ah, splendid; just who I sought. Come hither."

The two reached his throne and knelt before it as the Youkai continued.

"I wish to see what powers you have, human girl," he informed regally. "To this end, you must fight with a member of my court." At the girl's look of horror, he turned to Hiei. "Sir Hiei, you will be her opponent. Your only true motive is survival: do not harm the girl." The two on the floor exchanged glances: the first addressed was still terrified, the second, relieved. He was eager to see her newfound abilities as well, and certainly was in control of how badly she would be hurt.

"Begin!"

* * *

And THAT, my dear readers, is what we in the biz call an ironic cliffhanger (term which I just invented because that's what I do). Stick around for the next chapter: you'll enjoy it.

_Into this night I wander  
It's morning that I dread  
Another day of knowing of  
The path I fear to tread_

~_Posession_, Evans Blue [cover]


	7. The Magical YoYo

And now, I present to you: Chapter 7! Good patient readers, you are rewarded with comedy AND epic fighting. Read and Review, all!

Disclaimer: See chapter 8 of The Succubus for the disclaimer.

* * *

There were four options, Kadaj felt, which may or may not have in some way adequately explained the predicament he had found himself thrown into by absolutely no fault of his own (well, a good majority of it wasn't his fault).

Option 1: On his way from Umi and Shuichi's house, he had been struck by a car, and was currently lying in a coma in a hospital bed. The place his eyes could see and the voices his ears could hear was just a figment of his imagination, and everything he was doing was just part of a coma dream.

It certainly seemed logical enough. He turned down another lengthy hallway, accidentally kicking the wall with his food in the dark and cursing in a hushed voice in response.

Option 2: He'd managed to walk into some freaky Japanese version of an Off-Broadway production, and nobody had told him yet.

The next option was of the same strain. He opened a door, nearly smacking himself with it, and entered a room, closing the heavy door behind himself.

Option 3: Somehow, he was mistaken as a missing actor on a set of a movie production. Since nobody realized that he was the wrong person, all just assumed he knew everything that was going on and didn't bother to explain it.

Of course, the biggest flaw with this theory was the fact that he saw no cameras or lights or booms or directors or staff or...well, anything. He took a few steps into the room and promptly fell down the stairs, making a loud, rancorous noise. Upon reaching the bottom of the stairs, he simply sat there, in an awkward and uncomfortable position.

Option 4: Virtual reality games had been invented, and he was part of a test group for the pilot title. However, not all of the kinks were worked out, and the game had wiped part of his memory, so he forgot that he was in a game.

In each option, there was a strain of plausibility, no matter how remote. Kadaj was willing to put money down that the first option was the one that had happened; however, he desperately wished that the last option was what reality in which he currently resided. Rubbing his shoulder where it had collided many times with many steps, he got up and continued into the new room. When he ran into what felt like a bookshelf (and, as he passed his hands along it, turned out to be), he realized that he was in the library. Now, if he could only find a light switch...Oh, if only they had the Clapper, then all he'd have to do is clap and he would be able to see. He nearly laughed aloud while he began to scout the walls for a switch. Upon finding one, he was forced to snap his eyes shut, as the fluorescent lights were blinding in comparison to the blackness he had just left. After a few moments, he slowly opened his eyes, blinking a few times, and began looking around. It was a huge room, filled with bookshelves from floor to ridiculously high ceiling; most of the shelves had massive volumes completing them, but a few held something else.

Kadaj glanced among the VHSs, reading the titles. Most had been written in Asian characters, which wasn't helpful to him at all. Some, however, had English titles; even then, the titles were incredibly cryptic and made no sense to the American boy. Who the hell was Rando? How was a beast a Saint? And--oh, what was _that_? He picked up the VHS box. The Dark Tournament? Sounded like a good movie to him. Now, where was there a TV...?

* * *

Kadaj nearly smacked himself for not bothering to look for a flashlight before he left, and ran into many a door/wall/stair on his way to Koenma's office. Upon arrival, he scrounged around the toddler-ruler's desk for the remote. Finding it somehow among the papers and general crap left on the furniture, he began pressing buttons blindly until the TV lowered from the abyss.

Excited, he scampered over to the device and popped the tape into the conjoined VCR, and positioned himself a few feet back, plopping down on the floor. The blue glow of the screen provided him enough light to clearly see the enormous remote and its numerous buttons, allowing him to determine just which button for which he searched. And thus the movie began.

The opening scene was of a stadium full of people--oh, no, those things weren't people. It wasn't until he'd seen the close-ups of wretched, hideous faces that he determined that they were inhuman demons, cheering wildly. The camera eventually focused on a woman wearing the most ridiculous outfit he'd ever seen, and had a microphone in her hand as she stood in the center of the circular stage. Oh, and she had fox ears. And a tail. Weird though all that was, he shrugged it off to focus on the content of the video.

After this creature announced all of the riveting and exciting things that were announced at all tournaments, the crowd roared in anticipation as the first two combating teams were introduced. Close-ups of the team Rokuyokai showed fairly human creatures (and a couple of whom seemed to be just regular humans); the fact that concerned him most was the fact that one member was a child. There was no time to dwell on that, however, as the camera cut over to the opposing team: Team Urameshi.

Kadaj's jaw dropped. He knew every one of those people (except the ultra-short dude with the turban-bandage-whatever it was over his head): what were they doing in this movie? A moment's thought allowed him to think back to his options: this video was nearly proof of his third theory. And it would certainly explain a lot of things, like where Shuichi disappeared to.

As he continued watching, Kuwabara and the small child hopped into the ring, and the fight began. His white irises widened at each contact hit, and an excited gasp escaped his lips at the appearance of Kuwabara's sword of what looked like Force Energy. The special effects in this movie were amazing; it was like they had gotten the guy from the Star Wars animation studio to edit the film. Thinking about how awesome _that_ would be, he noticed that Kuwabara was seriously getting his ass kicked. By a child with some magic yo-yos. And, admittedly, that was hilarious. And as such, he laughed. Rancorously.

The lights flipped on, and he nearly screamed. Apparently it was morning, and all of the Ogres had returned to work. Kadaj shuddered. Ogres were scary enough; Ogre _bureaucrats_ were terrifying. Luckily for him, no Ogres entered the room. Instead, it was Yusuke and Kuwabara, who seemed very confused.

"What's so funny?" Kuwabara asked, almost concerned about how much the guy was laughing.

"Oh," Yusuke responded, gesturing toward the television. "He's just watching you get your ass kicked by a small child with toys."

Kuwabara made a loud noise of offense. "That kid was tough! 'Sides, I was just goin' easy on him anyway...No sense in beatin' up a kid. It's against the Code, Urameshi!"

"Don't lie about it; this kid'll put too much confidence in your abilities and be terribly disappointed if anything happens."

"Hey!"

Kadaj finally got his snickers under control. "Man, you guys are serious about this stuff. It's not real or anything." A terribly awkward, strained silence followed. Yusuke and Kuwabara exchanged unreadable glances. "...What's with that look?"

* * *

Hiei launched himself forward, refraining from drawing his blade, and instead aiming a punch at her midsection. To his surprise, the girl didn't jump back any; she waved her hand in a crescent covering the area to which he was aiming, and, using her Spirit Energy, conjured a barrier of wind. It was a powerful wind, creating a solid barrier which took the impact from Hiei's punch. Again, he swung at her, and again she waved her hand, stepping back a pace to create enough room. This process continued for a few moments before Hiei grabbed her wrist and pulled her forward.

"Why don't you fight back?" he hissed in her ear, just prior to kneeing her in the stomach and dropping her to the floor.

Umi doubled over, gasping in pain. Although she was facing the ground, she did note that Hiei was aiming a kick at her. Summoning her energy, she managed to raise the ground slightly and disappear beneath it. Hiei seemed completely off-guard, and was shocked even more when she leapt from the earth behind him and landed a solid hit to the point between his two shoulder blades, knocking him forward slightly. Unfortunately for her, she still wasn't incredibly strong, so he didn't go very far, and was able to whip around and get a good few hits in, again knocking her to the ground.

As she gasped for breath, doubled-over in pain, she focused her energy again, concentrating it in a small area, and, with a quick snap, released it. A tiny flame consumed the headband which covered Hiei's third eye, exposing the surgically-implanted organ to the world. Undeterred, Hiei grabbed the girl by the neck, lifting her off the ground as she slowly choked. She looked at him with a hazed glance in her emerald irises before lifting her hands to his wrist. One hand gripped it tightly, the other rose slightly before becoming parallel with his face. A sudden, shocking blast of blue-white lightening sparked from her hand, striking him in the face and shocking his third eye.

Hiei screamed, throwing Umi to the ground in order to clasp his hands over the damaged eye. After a few tense moments of vulgarities, he released his grip on his forehead and then reinstated it upon his sword's hilt. He took a few steps forward to where Umi was on the floor massaging her neck, drawing the blade from its scabbard. Thoroughly irate, he kicked the girl down onto the ground, holding the sword at her throat, and looked toward Lord Youkai.

The Lord seemed positively radiant, overjoyed at the abilities he'd seen, although it was only visible by the slight smirk on his expression and the glimmering glint in his tangerine irises. Slowly, he raised his hand, turning his wrist. Obliging, Hiei sheathed his sword and extended a hand to assist the girl in her task of getting up. Umi gladly took it, staggering to her feet. A few moments passed before the Lord spoke.

"Impressive, for a human," he mused merrily. Waving his hand, he added, "I should like to test your capabilities further."

Umi blinked. "...Um...okay..." she choked out, dazed.

He snapped, and a massive wall of unknown substance and mysterious origin appeared. It loomed over the hall in a stoic manner until Youkai Yami spoke again.

"Destroy it," he commanded simply, sitting back in order to enjoy the show more thoroughly.

Umi stared at the edifice for a few moments, pondering the multitude of ways in which she could go about her Sisyphean task. Her thoughts eventually begat a most ecstatic idea. A grin grew steadily on her countenance as she lifted her left thumb to her lips. Unseen by the others, but most certainly felt by them, a tiny ball of silvery-green energy appeared on the tip of this appendage; she pinched a bit of it between her front teeth, drawing it into a two-inch length of Spirit Energy Wire. Meanwhile, she pulled a small, rectangular box with a single button from her right pocket, holding the prism between her last two fingers. Then she chomped down on the Energy Wire, cutting it in half, placing the first half in a small hole in the object in her right hand. Pocketing the trigger, Umi then focused her energy into a highly combustible org while walking toward the structure before her. Pulling the other half of the wire length from her teeth and sticking it into the blackish-purplish ball, she stuck the bomb onto the wall. Umi then hopped back a few paces, busted out the trigger, and pressed the big, red button.

The silver-grey fuse began to burn, turning a shade of red-orange as it got closer to the bomb. The closer the object came to exploding, the redder the hue became, eventually exploding a shade of burgundy with matching-colored flames. Within a matter of thirty seconds, the edifice had gone from towering above them all to simply disappearing before their very eyes. Now all that was left was a few chunks of masonry and a large mound of ash.

Lord Youkai was impressed, and highly pleased. Her abilities were exactly what he'd hoped for, and nothing less than he'd expect from one under the tutelage of a hand-chosen member of his court. He clapped a few times before terminating in order to speak. "Splendid," he complimented, rising from his throne. "I should expect nothing less from such a highly praised human. You shall be of good use to my project."

"Yeah...thanks..." Umi muttered, feeling faint and nearly falling over. She'd used far too much energy in such a short period of time.

The Lord took no notice, and turned his attentions elsewhere. "Hiei, you and your team are to leave tomorrow at dawn." Hiei nodded. "Be sure to thoroughly prepare the others. This _will_ go off exactly as planned. I need not remind you that the Youkai do not fail. Understood?"

Hiei bowed deeply. "As you wish, Lord Youkai."

"Good. Now, all of you, get out of my sight. I have tasks to attend to." As the other demons (and human) scampered from his throne room, he spared a glance for his son, who was sending a particularly smug look his way. "Yes, boy?"

"Did I not tell you that he would be a good find?" Helios murmured, his lip curling ever so slightly. Most wouldn't have taken notice. Yami did.

"I suppose you did," he commented harshly. "What point do you intend to make?"

"I merely wish to prove my abilities to you, father," he answered lightly, turning ever so slightly away.

There was a pause.

"I assume you wish to do something bold and reckless to prove yourself worthy of our prestigious name?" the father inquired, raising an eyebrow knowledgeably.

The boy nodded.

"Soon. Very soon you shall have your chance. Prepare yourself accordingly."

* * *

And that's that. Hope you all enjoyed that one...I seriously enjoy Kadaj, so there'll be more of him to come. More awesomeness to come soon.

_Why does everything seem wrong?  
Does everything look drawn?  
Does everything seem blasted like it don't belong?_

~_1st Person_, Stone Sour


	8. Forgetfulness Is Not a Sin

Welcome back! I, the Lord of Impeccable Timing, am proud to present: CHAPTER 8! It's the moment you've all been waiting for. So what're you still reading all this author blabbing nonsense for? Get in there and read!

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH, and I never will. Ever. In your lifetime, ever.

* * *

That night was exceptionally dark. It was as though the divine will of the Youkai clan forced the moon and stars themselves into hiding, obscured as they were by great clouds. Getting to Spirit World was the easy part, as they arrived by the cover of this darkness and went completely undetected by the guards. It was at this point that the hard part began.

Hiei directed the group to a back door of the building--it was the same one he had used all that time ago with Kurama and Goki when they stole the Artifacts of Darkness. Youko recognized it, making quick work of the cheap lock, allowing the four to slip inside just before the watchman's round brought him by the door.

The four dashed down the black hall, their footfalls falling upon deaf ears, turning down hall after hall in the endless labyrinth of the building. Although they traveled in the shadows, a light would stream into the darkness from cracks in doors along the corridors, but they had prepared for any sources of illumination.

_"Make sure your faces are covered at all times," Hiei warned, handing the others masks which were to be used to obscure their faces. "We are easily recognizable."_

The door to the Vault Ward sat complacently on their right. Youko examined the lock, determining the manner in which it was sealed. It took him but a few moments to pick the lock, unscrambling the cipher which held it shut almost immediately upon seeing it. Their entrance again preceded the guard's round, but very narrowly.

A multitude of vaults made up this ward; it would take ages to search through each safe for the key. Of course, Hiei had done his homework, and knew just where to look. He led them down the wing, eyeing the spot wherein he knew the key to be hidden. Upon arriving at the s pot, which held the appearance of any regular old length of hall, the fire demon stopped the quartet.

_"Do you have any other ways to destroy masonry?" Hiei inquired upon leaving the court, giving Umi a searching glance._

_"Yeah," she answered, looking over at him curiously._

_"Is it quiet?"_

_"Yeah...why?"_

_"Your first method is effective, but will ruin our attempts at a covert operation. We need a silent method of destroying mortar."_

Mi glanced over at Hiei, who nodded, and returned her attention to the wall. It looked pretty thick; she'd never sued this technique on such a grand wall...Well, time for testing. Gathering her energy, she focused it into the general area over her palm, holding it up perpendicular to her face. The heel of her hand was merely inches from her pursed lips, from where a light, directed breath blew. This breath picked up the amassed energy in her hand, carrying it to the thick wall. Instantaneously, the destructive energy dissolved the supportive structure in a dust of mortar and masonry. As soon as a hole large enough for her to fit through was eaten away from the structure, she slid into the hidden safe room.

_"The Key to Paradise has a certain aversion to demons," Youko informed blandly, throwing Hiei a baiting look. "You certainly took this into account?"_

_"What other reason would I have brought the girl?" Hiei responded in the same tone, tossing an almost chastising glance toward Youko._

_"So you want her to take the blame for the theft, then?"_

_"You suspect that we'll be caught?"_

_"She may be; she isn't trained."_

_"Her sentence shall be the lightest in such an instance."_

Umi widened her eyes, trying to allow as much of the dim, bluish light as possible to enter them. Still unable to see, she conjured a miniscule red flame in her hand. With the new source of light, she walked further into the room. Her target sat unsuspecting, unassuming, on an altar in the middle of the surprisingly large room, waiting patiently for her.

_"How will I know if it's the key?"_

_"They key has a particular aura about it," Hiei attempted to explain. Seeing the look of utter confusion so early in his explanation plastered upon her expression, he shook his head. "You'll just know."_

Cautiously, she grasped the key in her hand. Something was amiss. No booby traps went off as she picked it up, no alarm sounded, no trap door opened up beneath her, swallowing her in everlasting darkness, nothing. Holding the golden Key to Paradise in her hand gave her no real sense of...anything. No power, no surreality, nothing. Could this truly be the key?

"Hurry up, girl," Hiei hissed into the room. "You risk us running into the guards and making a scene."

Umi opened her mouth to argue, but was cut off by Byoki's enraged command. "Don't disrespect Master Hiei, you pathetic human! Your status is far too low for insubordination!"

As the human wormed her way out of the opening, shoving the key into her pocket, she noted the glint of malice in Youko's eyes. The kitsune grabbed the doctor by the throat, lifting him up a few inches off of the ground and pulling him close enough for his lips to brush the rounded white, furry ears of said healer. Unfortunately, Umi happened to fall all over herself in her attempts to get out of the tiny crevice in the wall, and missed whatever he had said. By the rather shaken and fearful expression on the medic's face, she was willing to bet that, whatever it was, it was fucking amazing in his violence and evilness. She got up, dusting herself off, and the quartet headed out of the building.

Of course, they didn't make it far before somebody jumped out from the shadows.

"See Urameshi? I told you it was this way," Kuwabara called, waving his friend over. "And you thought they weren't even here."

Yusuke groaned. "Shut up, Kuwabara. Why don't you do something useful, like stop them?"

"Oh, yeah, right." The red-haired human turned toward the intruders, posing in a manner which he felt was menacing, but seemed ridiculous and unnecessary to the demons. "Alright, listen up, you stupid monsters. My name's Kazuma Kuwabara, and I'm gonna kick yer asses! Nobody steals from Spirit World and gets away with it, not while I'm around!"

_"And remember," Hiei added sternly, "there is no verbal communication. Koenma surely has caught onto the plan and has brought in the Spirit Detective and the buffoon. They'll recognize our voices easily and inform Koenma of our identities. No words. Period."_

"You think you can stop us?" one of the taller demons laughed, swishing his long tail a few times for effect. "_You_? A human? Ha!"

One of the shorter demons threw him a soul-crushingly malignant glare, growling menacingly. Kuwabara took little notice.

"Yeah, me!" he responded toughly, summoning his Spirit Sword. "'Cause I've got a sword!" With that, he gripped the sword with both hands and ran head-first at the mouthy demon, screaming louder than necessary.

Byoki easily fended him off, grabbing the weapon as it swung down at him and following with a swift kick to the human's chest, knocking him back. The resilient human jumped forward, slicing at the demon again. And again. Byoki was mocking him, nimbly dodging his haphazard slices. The masquerade ended when Byoki backed into a wall. Kuwabara sliced his body, earning a blood reward, and encouraging the human to beat the demon about the face.

After a few moments, and a nosebleed, Byoki managed to punch Kuwabara squarely in the nose, forcing the human back a few paces. As he moved back, he tripped over himself and fell to the floor. The demon loomed over him, looking (assumingly) rather irate. Just before the demon creature was able to slam his heel into Kuwabara's unprotected gut, a loud shout drew the attention of all present.

"Geeze Kuwabara, you're already getting your ass kicked?" Yusuke snarked as he ran in, drop-kicking the demon looming over the human. "Always makin' me save your sorry ass..."

"Hey! Nobody told you to get involved!" Kuwabara shot back as he flew to his feet. "I could've taken that guy; he wasn't so tough."

"Sez you..."

The two continued bickering like an old married couple, ignoring the group of otherwordly intruders. One of the short ones made a few motions toward the others and, after the instigative one got to his feet, the entire group shot off down the hallway. It took nearly ten full seconds for the Spirit Detective and his sidekick to notice that the intruders had run off.

"Yeah, you'd better run!" Kuwabara shouted after them. Turning, with hubris, to Yusuke, he added, "See? I scared 'em off. They knew I'd kick their asses."

"In your dreams, Kuwabara," Yusuke retorted. "They didn't run off until I got here."

"Whatever! They were totally afraid of me!"

"Yeah, afraid they'd get caught with your blood on their hands."

"What?! Why I aughtta..."

* * *

"What do you _mean_ you let them go?!" Botan shrieked, flailing outrageously. This was not good. Not good at all. Koenma would be so angry with them...

"Geeze, chill out, Botan," Yusuke murmured in a defensive tone. "They just ran off and didn't even try to fight or anything. Certainly made my job a lot easier."

"Yusuke!" she shouted in exasperation. "You were _supposed_ to keep the Key to Paradise AWAY from them! Did you get that back, at least?"

"Um...what if I didn't...?"

* * *

That morning in Spirit World was chaotic. And that was putting it lightly.

Ogres of varying colors and sizes ran back and forth in a frenzy, oftentimes losing most or all of the papers in the giant stacks in which they were carried. There seemed to be a greater number of these bureaucratic monsters running wild than usual, making it extremely difficult for Kadaj to dodge them as he attempted to make his way through the halls. Oftentimes, he had to duck into unknown doors to avoid contact with these creatures. Although he hadn't been in this place for a very long time, he felt like there were two options for what was happening: one) somebody had stolen the Key to Paradise and Yusuke and Kuwabara had failed to get it back, or two) somebody just won the lottery. He prayed it was the second.

One of the many "grim" reapers caught hold of his arm, scaring the living daylights out of the boy and drawing him from his thoughts. "Lord Koenma needs to see you now," she informed hurriedly, dragging him down the hall behind her. After being battered and bruised by fleeing monsters, Kadaj finally arrived in the gigantic office of Koenma.

"It's Kuwabara's fault!" Yusuke shouted indignantly. "If he hadn't been making an ass of himself, I could've gotten the key back!"

"My fault?!" Kuwabara retorted angrily. "You could've gotten the key back yourself, but you had to go and be Mr. Tough Guy and start raggin' on me and let them go!"

"If you had been able to take that guy down by yourself, we'd have the key!"

"If you had shown up earlier, you could have gotten the key yourself! 'Sides, you don't even know which one of those punks had the key! Coulda been any of 'em!"

"Boys!" Koenma screamed loudly, silencing both of them. "It doesn't matter whose fault it was! The fact is that they stole the key! We must get that back at all costs!"

"Lord Koenma," the reaper called from the door. "We are running out of space in the lobby for the incoming deceased. Where shall we put the newcomers?"

"Find somewhere; I trust you," he replied, waving her off. He returned his attention to Yusuke. "You have to get that key back. Without it, no human will be able to move on to the afterlife--"

"Unless they're being damned for all eternity," the Spirit Detective responded mindlessly. "It's the Key to _Paradise_; all those damned can move on to the appropriate hell, right?"

"That's not the point!" Koenma sighed heavily, flopping back down into his cushy chair. "Where's Kurama when you need him...?"

The group collectively shrugged. Nobody had heard from him in days, which struck them all as being quite out of character. Surely he would have been suspicious of Yusuke and Kuwabara's absences, let alone the conspicuous disapparation of Kadaj for the past few days.

"Maybe we should all go back to the Human World to find him," Kuwabara suggested, shrugging. "He's bound to be home by now."

"Yes, yes, go ahead," Koenma answered, waving them off. "Go get Kurama and bring him back here. Maybe he'll be able to help us get this key back."

Nodding, Yusuke and Kuwabara turned on a heel and marched out of the room. Kadaj began to follow in suit, but was stopped short of the door.

"Kadaj," Koenma called, beckoning the boy toward him. The American scampered toward the baby ruler, leaning close so he could hear the ruler's whispers. He nodded, patting his chest handily. Elated, Koenma shouted, "Good man!" while patting him on the shoulder, just before sending him on his way with the Spirit Detective and his sidekick.

* * *

_"Kadaj, come here!" The American exchanged glances with the others before obeying. Before Koenma spoke to him, he hollered at the others. "Get out of here! You have an assignment!" Rather unprepared for the shout, the three ran out, slamming the door behind them. After he was sure they were gone, Koenma sighed and leaned back in his chair. Obviously thinking hard about this decision, Koenma furrowed his brow in exasperation as a heavy silence passed over the two._

_"...Was there something you need, Koenma?" Kadaj inquired, feeling incredibly awkward addressing a baby--toddler, pardon._

_"What do you know about the Key to Paradise?" Koenma began, looking up at the fidgeting boy._

_"Um...nothing." There was no point in lying, he supposed. "Why?"_

_"This key opens the gates to the afterlife," Koenma answered, more focusing on his own question than Kadaj's. "It is a completely necessary device for Spirit World to keep in its possession. As such, it has been...enchanted, if you will, with a certain ability, an aversion to demons. Because of this, I fear that Lord Youkai will enlist a human in his ranks to aide in the theft of this key, something completely without precedent. I know he will do anything to get this key. That is why I require your assistance."_

_"Assistance?" Oh boy. Somehow, the American felt like he'd been hi-jacked into something much bigger and much more complex than he would ever have dreamt--or wanted--in his life. Fear was the first true emotion to smack him in the face after initial shock. He'd heard what Koenma said to Yusuke; suicide missions weren't his thing. No death for him, thanks. "Assist how?"_

_Koenma didn't reply at first. Instead, he focused his attentions on digging through his desk drawers, emptying their bizarre contents all over the desk and surrounding floor. After another set of awkward, strained moments of silence, the toddler ruler pulled something tiny from a drawer and held it up._

_This thing was gold, with precious gems in its intricacies. Oh, and it was shaped like a key. Even Kadaj didn't need three guesses to figure out what it was._

_"It's tiny," he stated, obviously unimpressed with the Key to Paradise. "I mean, look at it. It's like the size of my house key."_

_"I'm fully aware of that," Koenma half-snapped. "I need you to hold onto this. Keep it on your person at all times, I don't care how." He handed the key to the clearly undeserving boy._

_Kadaj reached out to take it, but stopped. "Wait, if I have it, won't that homicidal maniac come after me? I kinda wanna live for a little while longer."_

_"We'll plant a fake in the Vault Ward," Koenma explained. "The band of thieves will steal that key and bring it to Youkai, after which he will disban the group, returning the human to the Nigenkai. Without the human, Youkai is unable to hold the Key, and it will be again safe for the Key to Paradise to reside in Spirit World. We will send you back to the Human World after the heist until the hype dies down, and retrieve the key at that point."_

_The boy was obviously still wary._

_"The demons won't be able to come after you in the Human World."_

_Well, if the demons couldn't get him... "Sure, why the hell not?" Happily, Kadaj snatched up the key, and began rummaging through his pocket for something. It took him a few moments, but he finally retrieved a thin gold chain, which he attached to the key and wrapped around his neck. Then he stuffed the key down his shirt, obscuring it from sight. "So all I gotta do is...?"_

_"Hold onto that key. Stay away from the Vault Ward, especially at night. Go home until we call for you. That's it."_

_Kadaj nodded. "I can do that."_

Yeah, that really just happened. Hope it was everything--and more--that you thought it would be. So bust out the pins and needles and park it, 'cause I'm workin' on the next installment. :D

_And They're coming to take me away Ha Ha  
They're coming to take me away ho ho he he ha ha  
To the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time and I'll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats  
They're coming to take me away Ha Ha  
To the happy home with trees and flowers and chirping birds and basket weavers who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes  
They're coming to take me away Ha Ha Ha_

~_They're Coming To Take Me Away_, Neurotic Fish

* * *


	9. Startin' to Trip, Losing My Grip

Okay, okay, so I haven't updated in a while. But, to reward your patience with me and my issues, I present to you, in its raw, unedited form, the next chapter! :D Happiness all around!

Disclaimer: YYH = not mine. EVER. For serial.

* * *

Oh, Human World. How wonderful it felt to be back home again, to have control of his own body again. There was a certain uneasiness about him in the aftermath of such a high-stakes robbery, but he had quickly gotten over it; the only qualm he had with the situation was that he'd involved an innocent. Well, maybe half-innocent was a better term for her. He shook his head. Irrelevant. As long as Lord Youkai was pleased, there would be no ramifications. Nope. None at all.

Except for this.

His ears, which had become accustomed to the euphonious din of the lunch hour, perked up at the conversation across the room, keying in a specific phrase. The information obtained from the book in front of his emerald irises took a hiatus, allowing the auditory stimulus to register more clearly in his mind.

"I'm serious, this was the so fucking weird! It was the strangest dream of all time," Kadaj swore through a particularly large bite of sandwich, gesticulating for emphasis.

"Yeah, I bet," Umi answered while crunching on some chips. "Was it weirder than the time you dreamt about that tomato?"

"Only by a thousand," the American snarked in reply. He readjusted himself to prepare for a story. "Okay, so it really began on Monday, when you and Shuichi weren't at school. I showed up at your house after class to see if you guys were even home, 'cause I was worried and stuff. After a while, I got up to leave--"

"Got up?" she crunched, torn between disturbance and amusement. "Were you just sitting on my front step or something? Creeper..."

Mildly flustered, Kadaj chose to ignore the question. "As I was saying, I was on my way, and these voices I vaguely recognized caught my attention. I realized a little bit later, as I was hiding in the bushes and eavesdropping, that they were Yusuke and Kuwabara. They were shouting about some Kurama guy, and then this blue-haired chick flew over on a magic oar--"

"Magic oar?" Her eyebrow seemed to disappear into her hairline. "Now I'm starting to agree with you about the weird part." Truism; she was fairly certain that she was going to have to kick some ass after school that day for getting Kadaj involved.

"I swear, it gets weirder than that." He instinctively held up his right hand in response and continued. "No, for real, she began talking some nonsense about missions and whatnot, and I got roped into all that crap, and we flew off to some place they called Spirit World.

"So we get there, right?" He flopped back into his chair, chugging his drink. "And, get this, the ruler is this toddler--I swear, the kid's gotta be like two or some shit. He gives all these commands to Yusuke and Kuwabara, and then everybody runs off to guard some key. But, apparently, it gets robbed anyway." He paused for a moment, trying to read the look on his audience's face. He couldn't. Something passed over Kadaj's face in that moment. "But there's this thing...that makes me wonder...I mean...I don't even know if it was a dream..."

Umi remained frozen in mid-bite. "What's that?"

"What is _this_?!"

The uncharacteristic shrieks of the lord reverberated down the open, hollow halls. None of the multitude of servants and underlings dared enter the throne room upon hearing these cries of rage and shock. Hiei certainly knew he wasn't; he didn't give a fuck about any problems of the Youkai.

Until those problems became his own.

Helios kicked down the door to Hiei's room, where the feisty fire demon had been staring thoughtlessly at the wall.

_"So you're not coming?" she almost stated it, but that tiny inflection left it as a question. When no answer arrived, she continued. "Fine, fine. Just drop by for a visit every once in a while, okay?" Her last words were almost lost as she hopped through the portal. "I'm serious!"_

"Did you think you could get away with this?" he accused, glaring maliciously as he continued into the room. "Is this some kind of joke? Did you get your sick kick from this?!"

Hiei declined looking up into the enraged prince's clementine eyes. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't pull that shit with me," he snarled, forcing the little demon to look at him by holding his chin taught at an obtuse angle. "Most demons consider becoming a member of our court an honor."

"Most demons are weak and helpless and don't know what power is." His crimson eyes narrowed in a hateful glare. "Now what is it you want from me?"

"The real key." His words held an icy edge, mirroring his maleficent stare.

Hiei's hardened, hateful gaze softened to bitter bemusement. "What do you mean, 'real'?"

A pause.

"You can't be serious." Helios released the fire demon, stepping back to get a good look at the short one. "You must have known it was a fake. How could you leave without the real thing?"

"The girl never said it was a fake," Hiei responded slowly, pensively. "Perhaps she didn't realize..."

Helios paused for a few moments, thinking. "Then..." An idea obviously struck, as he whipped around with a minor gasp of surprise. "Then Koenma must still have the key!" With that, he darted out of the room.

Hiei blinked a few times, not quite sure he understood what happened. The key was a fake? Koenma wouldn't still have the key--he wasn't that stupid. But then...who would he have given the key to?

"Kadaj!" Umi hissed, grabbing the dangling key and stuffing it down the front of his shirt before anybody could see. "Where did you get that?!"

"Koenma gave it to me," he murmured sheepishly. "He said not to show it to anybody--"

"Kadaj!" She stopped the rest of her rant before it got too far. "Okay, look, meet me on the roof after class. Come alone. I mean it."

Kadaj stared mindlessly at the clock. 2:30. Wasn't he supposed to be somewhere--? Oh shit. He flew to his feet, startling the others in the classroom. Panicked, he sprinted down the hall, nearly running over a few groups of students. The commotion grabbed the attention of one student, who glanced up from his careful notes when he saw the pink-green blur tear down the hall.

Nearly tripping up the stairs, Kadaj slid into the door to the roof before opening it, falling all over himself as he spilled onto the roof. He stood in the doorway, panting, as his milky irises surveyed the rooftop.

"Well, finally," Umi groused, grabbing him by the collar and dragging him aside while kicking the door so it slammed shut. She sat him down and made herself comfortable before beginning.

"Alright, look," she began, looking directly into his eyes. "I know how this is going to come off, but just listen to me." When he responded wordlessly with a blank look on his face, she commenced. "Okay, well, everything you dreamed--everything you saw, everything you heard, everything you did, everything you thought--was totally and completely real. You managed to get yourself caught up in some sort of blood feud between the Lord of the Dead and the demon mafia."

Kadaj simply looked at her, obviously skeptical of every word of it. "Come off it; you're joking."

She shook her head, completely serious. "I'm not. It's a really, really long story that even I hardly get. All that I know is that you're gonna get yourself motherfucking killed for having that thing."

He raised an eyebrow. "Motherfucking killed? Not just killed?"

Choosing to ignore the question, the elemental continued unhindered. "Look, I don't know exactly what you saw or exactly what was said, but I can assure you that every last bit of it was entirely real." Umi moved almost uncomfortably close to her friend, in order to ensure that he was truly listening. "Kadaj, this is no dream; you're awake for this nightmare."

Shock was the first emotion to amass itself on the American's countenance. Slowly, however, realization and reality slapped him in the face, and suddenly, things began clicking in his mind. "So...if this is real...This key will really let people into heaven or wherever the hell you go after you die...and...and those magical powers...they're real...and demons...they're real too? And they're out for my blood?!"

"They're not magic," Umi attempted, but alas, in vain.

"Wait, how do you know about any of this?" Kadaj snapped accusingly, returning momentarily to his usual persona. "What role do you have in this shit?!"

The girl blinked stupidly. Whoops. "That's not important. What is important is that you stay safe. You should--"

"I've seen a good number of Shamylan movies in my time, and I feel like that information's a little important," he interrupted factually. "How can I believe you if you're hiding stuff from me? I don't want to be dead!"

"It's a long story, but..." she paused, thinking intently. What could she say? Telling him the whole story would take far too long, and there was no say she was about to announce that she'd been working for an inbred demon mafioso; even Kadaj had some morals. After thinking for a few moments, an idea struck.

Her delicate hand rose to eye level, hanging palm-up, parallel to the ground. It didn't seem like Kadaj could tell what she was doing, but she w s amassing the energy necessary for her demonstration in her palm. When enough had come together in her hand, it sparked and crackled; tiny shots of blue-green lightening zapped between the molecules around her hand, creating a visual symphony not unlike that of a CD in a microwave. As the surprise and captivity amassed in his expression, Umi stopped the shocking display, and refocused his attention on her.

"You're...you're one of them..." Kadaj murmured mindlessly. Another, more terrifying thought hit. "Oh God! You're demons! All of you! There's no human in the world who can do that shit! You're all out for my blood, aren't you?! Aren't you--?!"

"Kadaj! I am not a demon," Umi interjected, almost offended. "Neither are Yusuke or Kuwabara. We're psychics--well, they are--err, um, it's a long story..." The elemental shook her head. "It doesn't matter. We're going to keep you safe from the guys who'll eventually come after you."

"And how're you gonna do that?! With those puny fireworks?!" It seemed that the American was slowly losing it.

"Look, Shuichi and I can protect you--"

"He's one too?! Good Lord, is there any normal, sane person around here--?!"

"Kadaj, you're hysterical--"

"I am not crazy!"

"I never said that--"

"You're out of line!"

"Kadaj!" Umi smacked him across the face. Rationality seemed to return to his ivory irises, and she continued. "We can protect you as long as you stay with us at all times. Shuichi and I will be there for you at school, but we may need to rely on Yusuke and Kuwabara outside of that. We'll have to get that accursed object back to Koenma ASAP to minimize the chances of running into more trouble..."

The American didn't respond. He simply stared, blankly, at her face, obviously lost somewhere in his own thoughts. If Umi had to venture to guess, he was questioning the reality of the situation, again. But that didn't matter right now; they needed to go find Yusuke--

"So this is where Kadaj was in such a hurry to get to," Kurama mused cheerily, looking at the pair with eyes which didn't match his voice.

"Yeah, he forgot to meet until ten or so minutes after we were supposed to," Umi responded, struggling to mask the twinges of panic she felt at Kadaj's involvement.

After an incredibly brief summary, punctuated by periodic looks toward the awkwardly silent Kadaj, Umi finished with, "We've got to find Yusuke. Now." At the skeptical glance on her cousin's countenance, she asked, "What? He's the Spirit Detective; isn't this his job?"

At first, there was no response; he was pondering. His emerald irises glossed over the deeper and depper he delved into his psyche. If Kadaj had the key, then Koenma must have given it to him, and therefore he must have a reason. It couldn't be to hide it from the Youkais--they'd surely have figured out that the one they had was a fake by now. Perhaps he simply needed to keep it out of Spirit World; after all, the Youkais were S-class demons--they couldn't get through the barrier. At any rate, they would need all the help they could get to protect Kadaj; getting Yusuke and Kuwabara would certainly be a good idea. "Alright, let's go get Yusuke."

* * *

And that's that. Kinda short, but there should be another update soon to make up for that. In the meanwhile, revel in my awesomeness and review and janks.

_Please put the doctor on the phone 'cause I'm not making any sense  
Blame everyone but me for this mess_

~_I've Got a Dark Alley And a Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth (Summer Song),_ Fall Out Boy


	10. He Said, She Said

Told ya I'd update soon. Um, I don't really have anything snarky to say since I got all that out the other day putting the other chapter up. Lawl.

Disclaimer: YYH ain't mine. Let's move on.

* * *

There were many weird looks shot out from classrooms as the three ran down the hall--well, the two of them ran down the hall; Kurama was carrying Kadaj on his shoulder, seeing as how he still hadn't recovered from his traumatizing revelation. Although, he was talking now--to himself, mostly, but still talking. The Minaminos ignored it as they darted out of the school; they'd focus on his mental state after finding the humans. Only a few blocks stood between their school and their position in the city when a familiar face showed up, as he dragged the running pair into an alley.

"Hand it over," he immediately demanded, gripping the girl's shoulder tightly. "I know you've got it."

"I've nothing," Umi answered reactionally, narrowing her eyes to see in the surprising darkness of the alley.

"The one you gave to Youkai is a fake," he informed, somewhat annoyed.

"Hiei, why would I lie to you? I don't have it."

He glared at her. "You knew the one you gave him was a fake. Where is the real one?"

"That's none of your--hey, I did not know it wasn't real at the time!" she interrupted herself, smacking Hiei's hand off of her shoulder. "Sure, I had my suspicions, but what the hell would I know about it?"

"Lord Youkai sent you back here to get the key?" Kurama questioned, drawing Hiei's attention. "How does he expect you to bring it back? You can't touch it."

Hiei had opened his mouth to answer, but instead wound up asking a question. "Why are you carrying that human around?"

The kitsune had to glance at Kadaj, having forgotten that he was even there. "We're bringing him to erase his memory; he overheard a conversation we'd been having about Spirit World."

There was a pause. "You live in the other direction."

Umi turned an irritated glare upon her cousin. "You were always a shitty liar, Kurama."

"Kurama?!" It was at that point that Kadaj regained control of his senses, and began flailing incessantly in an attempt to get away. "Demon! Be gone! Get away from me!" He struggled out of Kurama's grip, falling an impressive six-ish feet to the ground. "Don't touch me!"

Hiei raised an eyebrow, a look somewhere between superiority, misunderstanding, and mild irritation crossing his expression. "What's his problem?"

"He's afraid of demons," Kurama explained mildly.

"They're out to get me!" Kadaj shrieked, scampering behind Umi. "They want my blood!"

"All demons are out for human blood," Hiei replied mindlessly as he turned toward the girl with the guilty expression on her face. "So he's got the key?"

"Hey!" she yelped, nearly flushing. "No mind-reading!"

"I don't need to read your mind; it's written all over your face."

"Look," she began, getting serious. "All I want to do is bring Kadaj to Yusuke and Kuwabara for some extra protection until I can bring the key back to Koenma." Figuring that the puppy-dog look wouldn't sway his opinion in the slightest, she crossed her arms and set an expression of determination on her countenance as she waited for his answer to the implied question.

A strained silence followed. After what seemed like an eternity (but in reality was about two minutes), the fire demon finally gave his reply. "Don't be shocked if I change my mind," he responded, obviously not pleased with his own decision.

A happy, yet rather surprised gasp escaped the elemental's lips. "Thank you!" she choked out, jumping forward and giving him a spur-of-the-moment hug.

The momentary shock on his face dissipated and was replaced by a look of mild irritation. "Get off of me--"

"Demon!"

Umi thwacked her friend over the head. "Yeah, they're demons. They're not out for your blood. They're on our side. So shut up."

"But he said he'd switch sides--"

"Hey, crazy boy, your opinion means little to sane people. Now let's get going before something stupid happens."

"So, how angry was Koenma?" Kuwabara whispered, leaning over toward Yusuke and poking the Spirit Detective. "I heard he popped up yesterday."

Ignoring the teacher's lesson, Yusuke responded in a hushed tone, "Real pissed. He was ranting and raving about how careless I am. He wants to send me off to the Demon World after the key, but he isn't too sure about it."

"Would you do it?"

"Hell yeah!" Yusuke puffed out his chest. "I'd kick some major demon ass!"

"You'd better be careful," Kuwabara warned. "You heard Koenma--going after those guys is suicide. 'Sides, you don't know anything about them."

The black-haired one scoffed. "You're just scared, ya big chicken."

"I am not!"

"Are so."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, you--"

"Mr. Urameshi, Mr. Kuwabara, can I get back to the lesson?" The teacher gave the two an annoyed stare, while many of the other students had turned around to watch the argument.

"Yeah, sorry Mr. Takenaka," Yusuke grumbled insincerely, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms. No sooner had the lesson resumed then did their conversation.

"So what's Koenma's plan as of now?" Kuwabara inquired, nudging Yusuke slightly.

"I don't know; he said to wait for a signal," Yusuke answered mindlessly.

A sharp rap came to the door, which was quickly answered by a highly irritated Mr. Takenaka. His words were indiscernible, but obviously curt, and he immediately turned toward Yusuke and Kuwabara. "You two," he called, pointing. "You're out of here."

"What'd we do?!" Yusuke argued, ironically shocked to be in trouble.

"I'm sure you did something," the teacher replied shortly. "Now get out of my classroom."

"But we're innocent!" Kuwabara protested, jerking into one of his ridiculous outraged positions.

"We've been framed!" Yusuke added, slamming his fists onto the desk. "I bet you set this up--" His baseless accusation was cut short by a chance glance toward the door, where he noticed Umi poke her head into the classroom. Realizing what was actually going on, he shut his mouth momentarily before continuing down a different path. "Oh, alright, fine. C'mon Kuwabara."

A rather surprised Kuwabara (who hadn't seen the elemental in the doorway) followed Yusuke out of the room, grumbling and complaining the whole while. When the two get into the hallway, Mr. Takenaka slammed the door shut and went back to teaching. The two humans turned toward the considerably shorter elemental, looks of bemusement on their faces. It was Yusuke who posed the question.

"So what have you been up to? And what are you doing here?"

"We need your help," Umi responded quickly, glancing around. "It's Kadaj."

They immediately tensed. Although they weren't privy of Umi's knowledge, they knew (or thought they knew) what Kadaj knew, and they knew it wouldn't be anything good. "Where to?"

"Why are we running?" Kuwabara complained, panting.

"Shut up and move faster," Umi growled, surprisingly far ahead of the others.

"Is he hurt?" Yusuke tried, catching up slightly.

"You're gonna be if you don't move."

"Can't you just tell us--?"

A loud scream emanated from a nearby alley, causing the trio to jerk before taking off at a much swifter pace, Umi farther in front than before. That was definitely coming from where she'd left Kadaj, Kurama, and Hiei. Something bad--no, something stupid--must have happened.

The three had been standing around awkwardly in the alleyway for a while, longer than Hiei had wanted. The pitiful human was twitching rather violently and muttering to himself. Hiei snorted in contempt, focusing his attention on the stream of ever-passing humans. Where was that girl? He didn't have the patience or time to waste on this. Annoyed, he turned toward Kurama, opening his mouth to ask about his cousin's whereabouts. Unfortunately, the question never got out.

Apparently the pint-sized demon had moved too quickly for Kadaj's liking, startling him. In reaction, he grabbed the key from around his neck and tackled the unsuspecting demon, slamming the key into his arm. The key burned through the sleeve of Hiei's shirt and singed his flesh, causing him to scream unintentionally. Retaliating, he threw a punch at the human, hitting him full-force in the face, knocking him clear across the alley into a wall and cracking the brick facade.

"Hiei!" Kurama gasped, reaching out to grab the little demon before he could continue thrashing the human.

"I was attacked unprovoked!" Hiei snarled, lashing out at Kurama.

"You can't attack humans; you don't exactly have the cleanest slate in Spirit World. Imagine what would happen if Koenma found what you've been up to _and_ that you'd been attacking humans," Kurama reasoned, tightening his grip on Hiei's arm for emphasis. "Let it go."

"Wait up!" Kuwabara's cries just preceded the skidding of the elemental down the alley. The girl nearly fell over herself as she ran up to the demons.

"What happened?" she inquired frantically, panting slightly from all the running.

"Those demons are out for my blood!" Kadaj shrieked, struggling to his knees. "He attacked me!"

"That human overreacted," Hiei defended angrily. "I barely moved and he slammed that damn key into my arm!" Shrugging the kitsune off of him, he showed her the burned flesh in the exact shape of the Key to Paradise on his upper arm/shoulder area.

"Sorry," Umi automatically apologized, glancing between the two. "He's just a bit unstable." As she scurried over, kneeling down to help Kadaj, she got a good look at his distant milky irises. "Wow, you really wailed on him."

Hiei hardly managed out, "Not intentionally," before Yusuke and Kuwabara slid into the alley.

"Well, well, well," Yusuke commented, crossing his arms and grinning. "Looks like the gang's all here."

"Whoa! Hiei, when'd you get back?" Kuwabara marveled. "I thought you left to go stay in the Demon World 'cause you couldn't handle it here."

"Not now, Kuwabara," Kurama warned, glancing over at Hiei worriedly. Expanding his attention to Yusuke as well, he continued, "Now that we've gathered everybody, shall we head inside?"

"I ain't goin' nowhere with you blood-thirsty creatures," Kadaj informed forcefully, holding his head and nearly falling over.

"Kadaj, they're here to protect your sorry ass," Umi hissed, yanking him balanced on his feet. "Now stop being a crazy paranoid psycho and haul ass." She turned toward her cousin. "Whose house is closest?"

"I believe Kadaj's rented home is," Kurama responded thoughtfully. "It's best if we quickly make our way there, lest Kadaj suffer from another panic attack."

Koenma glanced around his office at the immense and innumerable stacks of papers which continued to grow as more ogres brought more papers in. It wasn't going to be a particularly fun activity to go through all those stacks, but that wasn't what was on his mind. No, he wanted to check up on Kadaj and determine the best way to regain the Key to Paradise; the halls were filling up with the souls of the departed rather quickly. Then his father wouldn't have to worry...and he wouldn't get spanked.

A sharp rap at the door to his office distracted him from his concerns, drawing his attention in that direction.

"What is it?" he snapped, glaring. "Can't you tell I'm busy?"

"Lord Koenma," George called, mildly terrified. "Lord Helios is here to see you."

"Lord Helios?!" Hurriedly, Koenma transformed into his teenage form and moved in front of his desk and the ridiculous piles of papers. Dusting himself off and checking to make sure he was presentable, he called out to George. "Well ogre, send him in!"

The enormous door opened, allowing the prince of demons to enter the room. A certain superior grin played upon his lips. He stood a few feet in front of Koenma, looking smug.

"How long did you think you could get away with your charade?" he inquired menacingly, raising an eyebrow.

"What charade?" Koenma tried innocently. It wasn't working.

"The key." Helios did not appear pleased. "The one given to us was a fake."

"You weren't given anything," Koenma replied, irritated. "You sent somebody to steal it."

"You've no proof of such a thing," the demon brushed off, attaining an air of arrogance. "I could, however, tell you who it was that broke into the vault ward to steal the key, if that will absolve you of your unfounded suspicions."

The prince of the underworld seemed pleased, yet cautious. "Can you now?"

"For a price."

Of course. "What's your price?"

"Give me the key." Helios crossed his arms in a victorious stance, adding quietly onto the end, "Or at least tell me where to find its keeper."

Koenma was in quite the dilemma. If he told Helios where the key was, or who had it, he would be putting Kadaj in danger. If he refused to tell Helios where the key was, or who had it, the thieves would roam free, nobody would pay for the crime, and Spirit World would be discredited immensely. Oh, and he'd get spanked. He relented. "Ask for a human named Kadaj. Now tell me who I must arrest for this atrocity."

Helios grinned maliciously. "Oh, I think you already know them..."

* * *

And this is where the maniacal laughter soundtrack goes in, I think it's number 5 on the listing. At any rate, hope y'all had fun with it, and I'll see ya on the update. Ciao!

_(Who's watching me)  
I don't know anymore  
Are the neighbors watching me  
(Who's watching)  
Well, is the mailman watching me  
(Tell me, who's watching)  
And I don't feel safe anymore  
Oh, what a mess  
I wonder who's watching me now  
(Who)  
The IRS?_

~_Somebody's Watching Me_, Rockwell featuring Michael Jackson


	11. Elementary, Dear Watson

Okay, so I haven't updated in a while, and I could give you a laundry-list of reasons why. But I don't want to. So I won't. Instead, I'll just say, "Here, look, shiny new chapter!" Go wild. Read and review and all that janks.

Disclaimer: YYH ain't mine. Yet. Other things are, though.

* * *

Kadaj couldn't believe it. Normally, he wouldn't let anything like this happen. Maybe it was the concussion he knew he had. Maybe it was because nobody was going to listen to him anyway. Both options were equally plausible, but he definitely knew that if it was up to him, there wouldn't be any demons in his house--and certainly not two. Well, if he understood the various corrections people had been offering to the story, 1 ½. He didn't know, and he didn't want to know.

"Nice place," Yusuke commented, sitting down on the large, cushy couch. "Must be loaded to own a place like this."

"The school pays for it," Kadaj answered, blinking stupidly.

"Wish the school would pay for my house," Kuwabara idly stated, looking around the fancy pad.

"You're lucky the school lets you in," Yusuke retorted, earning another of Kuwabara's ridiculous death threats. He ignored it and turned to Kurama. "So Kurama, where've you guys been for the past few days? You missed everything!"

"That's why we're here--to catch up," the fox demon responded mysteriously. "I've heard some interesting stories..."

"Okay, okay, that took longer than I thought," Umi announced upon entering the living room, tray in hand. "The teapot is on the stove; in the meantime there's water here; Kadaj, I brought you some aspirin." Although domestic tasks weren't really her thing, Umi needed to do something to calm herself down before the discussion in order to avoid flaring up her powers. A somewhat forced smile worked its way to her lips as she sat uncomfortably on the arm of the chair in which Kurama was seated. "Well, Yusuke, I heard a funny little story from Kadaj earlier today. He said something about an excursion to Spirit World."

"Yeah," The detective replied sheepishly, only mildly terrified of the look on her face and the tone of her voice. "Your friend was eavesdropping on Kuwabara and me, so he heard some stuff he shouldn't have. So we decided to take him to Koenma to get his memory erased."

"That didn't happen," the girl finished, annoyed.

"Well," Kuwabara explained, "Koenma began explaining all this stuff about the Key to Paradise, and by the time he noticed Kadaj, he said it would be too dangerous to erase his memory."

"So he gave the key to Kadaj for safe keeping, is that it?!" she exclaimed, aghast, before forcing herself to lean back against the chair. There was an awkward pause after that. When nobody said anything, she figured, well, fuck it, and continued with her accusation. "Yeah, whose bright idea was that? Let's let the innocent, nonfighting, kinda wimpy, foreign-exchange student _human_ hold the object that some super badass demons are going to steal. Sounds like a solid idea to me!" She harrumphed, crossing her arms and legs, turning away from the others, and glared off to the side in petty annoyance.

Kuwabara and Yusuke blinked a few times, exchanged blatantly confounded looks, and returned to Umi. Leaning forward, Yusuke raised an eyebrow expectantly and sincerely inquired, "Kadaj has the key?"

Immediatly the four others tensed, the two humans flinching, and shared a confounded, flabbergasted stare at the Spirit Detective and his accomplice.

"You mean you didn't know?" Kurama gasped, mouth agape. With a nearly pleading look, he repeated, "You really didn't know?"

The two shook their heads, feeling quite out of the loop. "Koenma never said anything to us," Kuwabara responded flatly, still puzzled.

Kurama rubbed his temples in frustration. "Well, that's what we came to ask you about," he murmured uselessly.

"Do you know about--?" Umi's disheartened question was cut off by a particularly loud and obnoxious tone coming from Kadaj's back pocket. For a few moments, nobody moved.

"What is that noise?" Hiei growled, highly irritated by the whole debacle.

"Dude!" Kadaj yelped, shoving his hand into his pants to retrieve the phone. "It's her!" Expectantly, he flipped open the device and began conversing normally, having returned entirely to his usual persona. "Hey girl! What up?" He paused for a few moments. "Uh-huh. Yeah. Right. Yeah, it's a left. Right. Okay, see ya." He was about to hang up the phone when apparently the other party said something interesting. "Get out! For real? No--"

"Hey, can I borrow that?" Umi inquired sweetly, scurrying over to the American and holding out her hand expectantly.

"Huh?" He glanced up. "Oh, yeah, hold up, she wants to chat with ya."

Snatching the phone, Umi held it up to her ear, quickly belting out a, "Hey, what's up?" before snapping the device in half and tossing the pieces aside.

Kadaj was crestfallen, and it was written all over his face. "Umi...that was my only phone..."

"Kadaj! We're in the middle of a very serious discussion, and you're going to throw another innocent into this?!" Bothered, she floped down onto the love seat between the couch and the wingback chairs, next to where Hiei was situated.

"But...but...Rits and I were gonna go out drinking--"

"Kadaj!" Her exasperation was obvious. After a momentary pause, she continued in a much calmer manner. "When's she getting here?"

"Um--"

Ding-dong.

An incredibly menacing glare was shot toward Kadaj before Umi turned to the others. "Hide," she instructed immediately. "I am not involving anybody else in this. Hide."

"Where?" Kuwabara stupidly asked.

"There's a closet next to the kitchen," the guilty boy mumbled, pointing.

"Get!" the girl hissed, causing the four others to jerk back in unanticipatory shock. They scampere over to the closet, crammed themselves inside, and tried not to get hit as the door was slammed into their faces. Cheerily, the elemental called, "Coming!" before darting off to the door.

There was no moment between the door opening and an easily excitable squeal from the one outside. "Umi! I haven't seen you in so long! How're you?"

Putting on her very best faux smile, she answered, "Great, great. Come in, sit down for a spell." As she led the newcomer into the living room, she added, "Kadaj can't go out drinking today; he got himself a concussion as he fell down the stairs at school."

"That's terrible!" she genuinely responded. Ritsuka was a fair-skinned, curvaceous 16-year-old combination of Japanese- and Irish-American parentage, draped in an outfit reminiscent of Kadaj's usual attire: black boots with lime accents, fishnet stockings, electric green leather mini-skirt with neon blue accents, electric blue and green corset overtop a black shirt, and fishnet gloves. Her ruby red hair was lowlighted with a seemingly (and probably) unnatural shade of crimson and curled about itself at the ends at the small of her back, mimicking the curl of the bottom of her face-framing bangs. As she entered the living room, her silvery eyes (the miracle of colored contacts) took note of the tray of tea cups on the coffee table; she chose to ignore it and focused her attention on Kadaj. "You poor thing, falling down the stairs like that. You always were a klutz, though."

"Gee, thanks," he responded, offended. "I liked the part where I was the object of pity..."

Ritsuka sat down next to Kadaj on the couch, facing toward him. "Yeah, I bet. What led you to your unfortunate but hilarious fall?

"Well, I was--" A loud banging crash interrupted the boy's not-yet-invented lie, sounding from near the kitchen.

"What was that?" Ritsuka questioned, peering over Kadaj to see.

"Something must've fallen in the closet," Umi responded, a tiny hint of malice creeping its way into her tone. Getting up to check on it, she added, "I'll check, be right back." She scurried over to the closet and cracked the door open. "What are you idiots doing?" she hissed, glaring menacingly.

"Kuwabara stepped on my foot," Yusuke replied, enraged.

"Did not," Kuwabara retorted. "You elbowed me--"

"Shut the hell up," Umi snapped lethally. "No more noise, or I swear I'll break you." Slamming the door harder than intended, she rather jubilantly returned to the living room. "Yeah, some stuff fell from the shelves in the closet," she happily lied. "you know how much of a slob Kadaj is."

"Too true," Ritsuka sighed, earning another offended remark from Kadaj. "How have things been around here since I took my leave?"

"Same old same, I suppose," the American answered nonchalantly. "Except you bailed on the concert, so I had to drink by myself."

"Umi was there--"

"I don't drink," the elemental interrupted, giving Kadaj a look meaning to remind him that her cousin could still hear them, despite being stuffed in a closet with his three closest friends.

The conversation carried down the hall, its forced courtesy not missed by the group of people currently crammed into the hall closet. Kuwabara seemed to be getting antsy.

"They're just chattin' out there," he grumbled, shifting slightly.

"Well, it's not like they can just say, 'Hey, we're discussing demons coming after your boy here, can you come back later?'" Yusuke snarked, readjusting himself based on Kuwabara's movements.

"They could get her out of here faster."

"Believe me Kuwabara, none of us want to be stuck in here with you, either--"

"What's that supposed to mean?!"

"Keep your voice down, please Kuwabara," Kurama shushed quickly. "The more noise we make, the more likely we'll be discovered--"

"And the more likely we'll get this other chick involved, thereby getting our asses kicked," Yusuke finished. He paused for only a beat before amending, "Well, you'll get your ass kicked, anyway."

"Why I aughtta--" Kuwabara's rather unmenacing threat was cut off by a shrill, bombastic whistle coming from the kitchen.

"I'll get it," Ritsuka's voice mellifluously fluttered through the hall as she approached. As the girl neared the kitchen, her footsteps paused for a few moments outside the closet. The boys nearby tensed, wondering if they'd been discovered. Suddenly, three dainty sneezes came in quick succession.

"You okay?" Kadaj called, only mildly interested.

"Yeah," Ritsuka murmured, sniffling once as she entered the kitchen. "It's just my allergies." Another few moments passed before her footsteps were heard outside the closet door; they paused in the same place as earlier, just preceding another round of sneezing. She sniffled again, grumbling, "Damn allergies," under her breath before returning to the living room.

A collective sigh of relief escaped the four in the closet. Now all they had to do was remain absolutely silent until the others could get Ritsuka out of the house--

WHAM

"Did you even consider knocking on your way up to the door?!" Umi's shriek carried very well down the hallway. "Have you ever heard of a doorbell--or manners?!"

"I'm looking for Kadaj--oh, there you are." That voice was unmistakably Koenma (in his teenage body, of course). "Listen, somebody's looking for you. The key--"

"I already gave the maid the house key," Kadaj saved quickly and forcefully, gesturing toward the confused innocent in the room. "If she lost it again, she'll have to get a new one."

"Kadaj has a maid?" Ritsuka pondered aloud. "This place is a wreck; she must not be all that good."

"She just got hired," Umi bullshitted immediately. "I'd love for you to stay and chat, Rits, but we need to get this place ready for the maid." Hurried footsteps became increasingly difficult to hear as the two neared the door. "Kadaj'll have you over once this place gets cleaned up. See ya!" The door shut, clicking as it locked.

"Who was that? And where are you going?" Koenma was obviously displeased as Umi's uneven, impatient footsteps neared the closet. She pulled the door open, allowing the four to fall to the floor in a heap, and promptly returned to the living room.

"What is going on here?" Koenma inquired as the group returned to the living room as they had been earlier.

"You nearly pulled another Kadaj," Yusuke responded, flopping onto the couch. "You should look into knocking on doors and looking at everybody in a room before speaking."

"Shut up Yusuke." Koenma sat in the cushy, wing-backed chair, glancing between the six others in the room; his serious face dissipated when he blinked stupidly upon seeing Hiei. "Oh, Hiei, you're back. When did that happen?"

"Unfortunately, earlier today," the fire demon growled, glaring violently at the elemental, who he was blaming for everything that had happened in the past few hours.

"Oh. Well, the more the merrier." He turned toward the rest of the group. "We've got a situation. Lord Helios is on his way to Human World to find the key."

"Lord Helios?" Kurama repeated, rather shocked.

Koenma nodded, grim. "Yes. He's realized that the one stolen was a fake, and knows the real one is in Human World."

"Well, it's not like this guy'll find Kadaj, right?" Kuwabara tried. "I mean, there are an awful lot of places he's gonna have to look to find one guy."

"Yeah, it's not like--hey, what the hell, Koenma?!" Yusuke realized about halfway through his comment what he was really feeling, and jumped up in an enraged emphasis. "Why'd you give him the Key to Paradise and not me, huh?!"

"Sit down, Yusuke," Koenma ordered, sighing. "I gave him the key because he wouldn't throw his life away doing something stupid like hunting down demons he couldn't beat." There was an elongated pause.

"He won't find Kadaj, right?" Umi repeated quietly.

There was no answer.

"Koenma?"

"Kurama," the prince began, ignoring the question. "Where can we hide Kadaj effectively?"

The kitsune had to think for a few tense moments. "I suppose the most effective hiding place would be at Master Genkai's temple. It's remote, so it should be much more difficult to find, and we are all able to stay there with him for added protection."

"Can we get back to the whole being findable thing?!" Kadaj half-shrieked, obviously returning to his insane phase. "That crazy-ass motherfucking demon can't find me, right?!"

Koenma sighed. "Kadaj, he knows your name, but not necessarily your face. If he runs across someone you know, you could very easily be found."

There was more silence.

"You do realize that this is all your fault, right Koenma?" Yusuke commented, only half-joking.

"You don't know the half of it, Yusuke," he responded somberly, looking up as he continued, "But you know what I don't understand?"

Yusuke and the others, completely caught off-guard, blinked once. Then again. "What?" the Detective inquired stupidly.

"You guys don't seem to be concerned about the right things," he mused, making a face of ponderance. "Kurama doesn't seem too worried at all that something had been stolen from Spirit World, even though he was never contacted about such an event. Umi apparently is already well-informed about the Key to Paradise, even though I left out key details to Kadaj. Yusuke and Kuwabara know that I gave the key to Kadaj, even though I didn't inform either of them purposefully. Kadaj seems to be absolutely terrified of Lord Helios when he doesn't even know who this guy is, as I've never mentioned his name before. And Hiei...well, Hiei's here in the Human World, after finally getting back to the Demon World, with no real prompting. All very strange..." At each accusation, the subject jerked noticeably from blatant guilt; a recognizable expression quickly encompassed the subject's face--an expression of deep, hurried, and critically illogical thought, as each tried to come up with an unincriminating alibi. It wasn't working.

"I'm going to be killed by a demon; who cares about all this?!" Kadaj hollered, flinching slightly (having apparently caused his own increased pain in his headache).

Koenma stared incriminatingly at the group, looking at each of them in turn. "I spoke with Lord Helios today, early this morning."

An invisible glance was shared among the two demons and the elemental. It had a single message, and the message was: Shit.

"What did he say?" Kurama, damningly, asked.

"He informed me of the thieves' identities."

"Did he now?" Hiei snarked, throwing one of his patented glares Koenma's way.

"Yes," Koenma sighed, sitting back in his chair. "But I'm willing to look past it, for a price."

The collective group of thieves gave him the same look of disbelief and relinquish. "Okay, what do you want? My soul?" Umi finally questioned, her inquiry dripping with sarcasm.

"You are to keep the key hidden from Helios," the prince charged blandly. "And upon his departure you are to bring it back to Spirit World."

There was a sigh of relief. The pleasant mood, however, didn't last much longer than that.

"Wait, wait, wait," Yusuke interrupted loudly, flying forward in his seat. "Hold on here. You mean to tell me that these guys stole it?!"

"But the guy I talked to didn't sound like any of them," Kuwabara added, confused.

"There was fourth," Koenma informed dryly. "But I've already dealt with him--"

"Does anybody else have a problem with the fact that those guys broke into Spirit World--again?!" Yusuke yelled loudly, slamming his fist into his leg for emphasis. "Damn Koenma, how do your defenses suck so much?! Have you even updated those defenses since last time?!"

Before Koenma answered, Umi interrupted, looking appalled. "You've broken into Spirit World before?! When did that happen?!"

"Forever ago," Kurama growled, glaring at Yusuke for bringing that skeleton from his closet. Putting his clam demeanor back on, he refocused his attentions on Koenma. "Is there an estimate for the amount of time we have before Lord Helios arrives?"

"Sometime today," the prince assured, getting up. "I'd say by nightfall." Ignoring the explosion of complaints from Yusuke, Kuwabara, and Kadaj at his reply, he simply walked out of the house, shutting the door behind himself.

"Well, I've got an idea," Umi began derisively. Before her thought came out, a loud rustling caught the attention of everybody in the room. Yusuke flew to the window, looking out searchingly. He neither saw nor sensed a thing, and, figuring it to be a squirrel or other annoying rodent, returned to the group.

That was a close call for Ritsuka. As she heard the latch of the door come open, she was forced to dive into the bushes from her position beside the door, in order to hide from the person leaving the residence. For a few terrified moments, she thought she'd lost the careful notes she had taken; however, she came across the tiny orange notebook at that moment. Relief washed over her. The master wouldn't be pleased if she misplaced his notes.

* * *

Holey heck, that was a lot longer than I thought it was. Good for me. I'm so awesome. Okay, enough of that. I'll update as soon as possible, so keep on...doing whatever you do to pass the time between updates. :D

_Everyone's corrupt  
You should just shut up  
Lay down, back off  
The demon you disrupted_

_~Politics_, KoRn


	12. J'Accuse!

Okay folks, I'm back with a riveting new chapter. I'm not feeling particularly hilarious at this moment in time, so I'm gonna get right down to the disclaimer and junk so you can read through your tragically short new chapter. ^^

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH, now, or ever. I do own other things, though.

* * *

The trek from Kadaj's house was one of the most fuse-shortening events of their lives. Yusuke and Kuwabara spent a great deal of the time complaining--about not being informed by Koenma about things earlier, about how their friends' theft was really, really ridiculously annoying, about how Koenma trusted Kadaj more than them, about anything they could think of. Many times, Hiei was forced to violently threaten their lives to get them to stop; their breaks, however, were few and far between. They hadn't even made it to the train station before they were forced to stop to address the issue.

"Infernal humans!" Hiei swore loudly, glaring maliciously at the two. "Your idiotic complaining is driving me mad. Shut up."

"It's your fault we're in this situation," Yusuke shot back. "If you hadn't stolen the key, we'd all be fine."

"You idiot, we didn't steal the key; it's here."

"Yeah, well, you wanted to steal it."

"Just like I want to stab you through the neck to end your moronic rantings."

"Guys, we can all kill each other later," Umi interrupted, stepping between the two. "Let's just focus on getting the hell out of here for now, okay?"

The two harrumphed, glaring away from each other while crossing their arms in frustration and irritation.

"Oh my various pagan deities, you two are like children." Sighing, the girl threw her hands up in disbandment and walked off toward Kadaj, hoping for more sane company.

"Are you sure this'll work?" he whispered fearfully, his white eyes wide with fear.

"Yeah, he's kinda retarded," she murmured, disappointed in her foolish choice in company. "You'll be fine."

"Are you positive?"

"Kadaj."

"I'm just checking!"

"The train station is a few blocks south of here," Kurama interrupted, forcefully yet helpfully. "If we get there in the next ten minutes, we'll be able to get to the other side of town by six, and from there to Genkai's by midnight."

"We can't get on the train in the next ten minutes," Kuwabara replied. "Is there another way we can get there that's faster?"

"There's a shortcut to the train station through that warehouse," Yusuke informed begrudgingly. "We could go through there."

"Then let's do that," Kurama suggested, leading the others in a hurried pace to the building.

The group hardly made it into the warehouse before encountering someone unexpected. He was standing in the middle of the empty concrete structure, waiting, as though he knew they'd arrive sooner or later. Even in the faint light, his tangerine eyes glimmered in triumph.

"Well, it's about time you arrived," he commented lightly. "It's not proper to keep royalty waiting."

"I don't see any royalty here," Yusuke responded, "just some creep lurking in the darkness."

The air of enjoyment vanished, replaced by a domineering sense of superiority. "I am Lord Helios, heir to the all-powerful throne of the Youkai. You will treat me with the respect I am entitled to as such!"

"Hey, you're the guy after the key, right?" Kuwabara called, making a few strange gestures of his own patent to convey his point.

"At least one of you dundering fools has a portion of your brain in tact," he answered sardonically, moving his attention through the members of the group. Upon catching sight of some faces he recognized, a scowl came to his face. "I expected this of the morally weak human, but such betrayal from you, Youko, and you, Hiei, is unacceptable! You will suffer a dire punishment for such a transgression!"

"Betrayal implies initial loyalty," Hiei snarked, mildly irate. "No such relationship ever existed. Aside, do you truly believe that a wak creature such as yourself could ever hope to defeat me?"

Helios openly laughed. "Surely you forget my trump card?" The response he earned was a low, feral growl. "Now, give me the human with the key."

Instinctively, Kadaj yelped, jumping behind Kuwabara for protection. The prince seemed confused.

"Why does the demon cower behind the lowly human?" he inquired, cocking his head to the side. "He has not transgressed my father's law."

"Demon?!" Kadaj shrieked, looking around in fear. "Where?!"

"Kadaj isn't a demon," Kuwabara mindlessly blurted out.

"Kadaj?" Helios repeated, intrigued. "That creature is the keeper of the key?"

"Way to go, Kuwabara," Yusuke condescendingly remarked. "Now that he's found Kadaj, this'll go a lot faster."

"Shut up Urameshi!"

"I don't have time for this idiocy," Helios announced, enraged. "Hand over the keeper of the key or face my wrath!"

"Bring it on!" Yusuke retorted, getting into his trademark "Spirit Gun" stance, followed by prompt firing of said Spirit Gun. Of course, it missed, and Helios had the advantage of being hidden by the many shadows.

"So what's the plan?" Umi asked, glancing between Yusuke and Kurama.

"That depends," Yusuke answered cautiously, thinking for once. "What can this guy do?" He glanced at Kurama for the answer.

"Each of the members of the Youkai Clan has his own unique set of abilities," Kurama murmured, eyes darting around to locate the enemy. "I have never seen him fight before, though, so I cannot say." He turned slightly toward Hiei. "Have you seen his abilities before?"

The fire demon shrugged, annoyed. "No."

"Well, this'll end well," the elemental groused, highly irritated. "Back to my question: what're we gonna do?"

"Kick his ass," both Kuwabara and Yusuke responded simultaneously.

At that moment, a whip of pure energy, bright Clementine in color, shot out of the darkness, forcing the group to scatter. Where the whip came in contact with the ground, a large crater was formed. After that point, the silence returned. No sound emanated from anybody for a few moments. Then--

"Shit!" Yusuke shouted as he leapt from his position on the sideline while dragging a highly confused Kadaj. The cause of his shriek was an enormous hammer smashing into the ground in the place he'd been standing moments ago. It was the same shade of tangerine.

"So he's an energy manipulator," Kurama surmised, watching as Yusuke continued jumping around to avoid the attacks, carrying Kadaj in toe.

"Where is he hiding?" Umi inquired, anxiously watching the same scene.

"He must be moving with Yusuke in the darkness; none of his attacks seem to originate from the same location."

"Why would he do that?"

"So we can't find him, probably."

"But we know he's back there--" she gestured vaguely toward the darkness on the other side of the room "--so if we all just went in, we'd have to hit him at some point."

"Or each other," Kurama ammended, looking grave.

"Well, we have to do something--"

"Kuwabara, head's up!" Yusuke shouted, throwing the terrified human at his accomplice, just before the energy whip wrapped around his ankle, taking him down. The Spirit Detective landed loudly on his face, the thud resonating dully.

Kuwabara grunted audibly as the living 160 lb weight fell into his partially-prepared arms, nearly forcing him to the ground in the process. Continuing to run toward the far side of the warehouse, he cursed Yusuke loudly as a pole of energy shout out of the darkness, nearly tripping him a few times.

As he neared the far door, Kadaj almost fell to the ground, slipping from Kuwabara's grasp. He didn't fall entirely; however, he was dragged along the floor while the younger one ran. The whip cracked again, and again, as the two continued along.

"Hey, spoiled demon!" Yusuke shouted, getting into his standard Spirit Gun pose. "Eat this!" With that, another round was fired into the blackness.

The whip jerked back into the shadows just in time; a strange sproing sound was heard as the round reflected off of what was assumed to be Helios' energy in the shape of a shield, and it came flying back at the firer. Yusuke screamed loudly as he dodged; it barely missed him and went flying into a wall.

"There," Kurama whispered, pulling out his rose whip. He rushed off, leaving Umi alone. Before he moved very far, he cracked the whip into the darkness. It took a few moments, but there was a positive response: flecks of blood splattered on the ground, signaling a hit.

At that point, Hidi hurried into the blackness, hands attached to the hilt of his blade. The distinctive sound of unsheathing metal resonated, followed by the sound of a strong hit--at least one, possibly more, it was impossible to tell at that speed. Another loud thud followed, just preceding the fire demon getting knocked into one of the dimly lit areas, a bruise evident on his face even in the minimal light. While the group was focused on Hiei as he went flying, the demon prince's whip cracked again, wrapping around Kuwabara's leg and dragging him to the ground. As he fell, Kadaj went airborne.

"Oh no!" he cried as he fell, his shout punctuated by a grunt as he collided with the floor.

"Kadaj!" Yusuke hollered, running over.

Unfortunately, he moved too slowly. A hand, small and delicate, shot out of the darkness, far from where Helios was known to be, and snatched Kadaj by the wrist, drawing him into the shadows.

Rashly, Yusuke ran into the blackness after the human; moments later, Kuwabara followed suit. Hiei had returned to his feet and darted after Helios, while Kurama simultaneously went after the demon prince. Umi was left in the dimly-lit warehouse alone. Surrounded by the resonating sounds of battle, she became unnerved by her inability to see what was happening. Slowly, he eyes moved around, inspecting the area as she searched for a solution to her dilemma.

Something caught her eye.

It was a large box with an equally large label:

Warning: High Voltage

That could work. A grin came to her face as she stepped over to it. After a moment's inspection, she found that there was no lock on the box--highly unsafe--and she threw the door open carelessly. Examining the wires for a few moments, she quickly came to the conclusion that she was not an electrical technician, and, shrugging, summoned up her energy anyway. It sparked and crackled in her hand, becoming electricity, and she gripped the power lines tightly, pouring the electricity into them. The lights flickered on and off a few times before the fluorescents finally stayed on, illuminating the entire warehouse. The first thing she heard was Kadaj:

"Ritsuka? What the fuck are you doing here?!"

* * *

CLIFFHANGER!~

Yeah, sorry about the shortness; that just means I'll have to update again real soon. Hope y'all had fun, and I'll see ya at the update.

_Skin against skin blood and bone  
You're all by yourself but you're not alone  
You wanted in an' now you're here  
Driven by hate consumed by fear_

_~Bodies_, Drowning Pool


	13. Fight Club

Okay, so this chapter took forever. Epic fight scenes require a LOT of forethought, seriously. Wish I'd realized that before starting this chapter. XD

Well, nevertheless, I got this up for y'all. Have fun with it!

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH now, in a past life, or at any point in the future.

* * *

"Where is it?" Ritsuka demanded, shaking Kadaj violently. "Where is it?"

"What are you talking about?" the boy inquired frantically, hardly able to get out his question between violent motions.

The action paused momentarily as everybody collectively looked over to where the two Americans were in the once-dark corner of the warehouse. Outside of Lord Helios, everybody seemed shocked that the girl was in the room at all; what was she doing there?

"The key," she snarled, still shaking him. "Where do you have the key hidden?"

"How do you know about the key?" Yusuke shouted, stepping forward. "You weren't there!"

The girl didn't even bother to glance up, instead focusing her attentions on the boy in her thin, yet intensive grasp. "Look, we can do this the easy way, or the 'I'm gonna rip your throat out' way. Now, which way do you want to do it?"

Kadaj's ivory irises stared blankly at his friend; he couldn't determine why she was after the key, but it was obviously not for any good reason. "Damn, Rits, you know I keep the house key under the mat--"

"You know what I mean!" she hollered, expression livid.

"It's around his neck," Helios informed from across the open area, apparently just as frustrated as the girl. "Now get the key and get the fuck out of here!"

"You enlisted a human in your twisted scheme?!" Kuwabara shouted, glaring over at the demon prince. "You sick, demented, manipulative son of a bitch! Corrupting humans like that--you're the lowest of the low!"

"It's not like I haven't done it before," he responded, bored, as he shrugged, obviously not caring about Kuwabara's opinion. "How else do you think those two got the 'key' out of Spirit World?"

"Aw hell no," Yusuke retorted, rushing over to where Ritsuka was currently molesting her friend's person in order to locate the object. As the Spirit Detective got close, he pulled his arm back for a punch.

Unfortunately, it didn't go through. A long pole shot out from the other side of the room, hitting him with significant force in the side and shoving him far away from the two Americans on the floor. As Helios swung what was now a sledge hammer at the troublesome Spirit Detective, the other three leapt into action. Kuwabara went into a dead sprint, running toward Ritsuka and summoning his Spirit Sword in the process, while Kurama and Hiei dashed over to Helios with their respective signature weapons drawn and ready for action.

Kurama's whip cracked, nabbing Helios around the leg, which allowed Hiei a few free slashes at the demon prince's unprotected body before he managed to shift his weapon from an offensive tool to a defensive shield in order to block the attacks. Helios had his feet pulled out from under him as Kurama pulled his rosewhip back; Hiei stabbed his blade through Helios's hand when it hit the ground, forcing the demon prince to release his energy weapon, as well as pin him down for a while.

Moving swiftly, Kuwabara closed the gap between himself and the Americans quickly, and swung his Spirit Sword at the female--not intending to hit her, of course, but rather hoping to scare her away from the defenseless human. Naturally, that didn't happen.

Ritsuka grabbed the boy around the neck and dragged him away with her as she dodged the blade. Unfortunately, she didn't think too much about her movements, as she backed directly into where Yusuke now stood, who made a move to restrain her, but apparently was unable, as she slipped from his grip with relative ease. However, Ritsuka managed to drop Kadaj in the process; he rolled off to the side, away from the action. He knew better than to get between people in the middle of a fight.

It didn't matter, though; it seemed that Ritsuka already got what she was looking for. "Ha!" she gloated, holding up the chain proudly. "I've got it!"

There was a pause, wherein Yusuke and Kuwabara exchanged glances, eyebrows raised, and an obvious snicker caught back in their throats. "Um..."

"You infernal human!" Helios screeched from his position on the ground, glaring malevolently at the human girl. "That's not the key!"

"Huh?" Ritsuka glanced at the end of the chain which dangled from her hand, where a large key hung; this key, however, was not the golden emblem of the afterlife which she and Helios so desperately sought: it was Kadaj's house key. Her jaw slackened slightly, just before the rage set in. "Then where's the real one?!" Her silvery eyes shot over to Kadaj, who grinned devilishly, shrugging.

"Why don't you try asking Yusuke?" he suggested happily, very obviously trying not to laugh.

Ritsuka glared angrily, wishing death upon the boy as she turned toward the Spirit Detective, who hadn't the slightest clue as to what Kadaj was talking about. Blinking stupidly, he nearly got hit by Ritsuka's swift, unpredicted attack; he was nearly hit again, having been momentarily stunned by the first assault's uniqueness--shockingly, it was something he hadn't encountered before.

Her energy lashed out on its own accord, grasping a nearby crate and hurling it at Yusuke. It repeated the process when it nearly worked the first time. She had telekinesis. Fucking telekinesis--

An unseen punch landed in his gut, causing him to double over in intense pain for a moment; he fancied he heard a rib crack.

--And super strength. What the hell was going on here?

"You're a psychic?!" Kuwabara and Kadaj simultaneously shrieked, completely taken off guard. "What the hell?!"

She didn't respond, obviously too preoccupied with her thoughts to care. Instead, she continued wailing on the Spirit Detective until Kuwabara attacked the girl with his sword--this time, he intended to hit her (but not hurt her or anything--his code was still in effect).

Helios ripped the blade in his hand out, throwing it away in Kuwabara's direction in an attempt to hit him; the human didn't notice the pointy projectile headed straight for his head, and neither did the Spirit Detective. Hiei immediately chased the blade, hoping to catch the sword before it reached the target. Kurama called out to the human, hoping he would be able to move in time.

"Kuwabara!"

Grunting stupidly, Kuwabaar turned around, just a bit too slowly; his dark eyes didn't catch sight of the projectile until ht was far too late for him to move. The sword made contact, making a loud clang.

Clang?

The human opened his eyes to the sound of surprised gasps; when he finally caught sight of the originator of the sound, he too gasped. A wall of corrugated steel had appeared in front of his face, stopping the projectile in its path. An incredibly pleased grin came to his expression as he turned to his right.

"Good job!" he called merrily, nearly laughing in relief and giving the girl a thumbs-up.

"Behind you!" she responded, gesturing swiftly. Kuwabara had just enough time to see Yusuke come hurtling through the air at him before getting hit with his friend's very conscious body.

Kurama cracked his whip again, slicing through Helios's midsection; the blood flowed onto the concrete floors without hindrance. Unfortunately, there was an opening as he pulled the whip back, allowing Helios to spear him in the side, which permitted the same red substance to flow from his body. Between the demon prince's attack and Hiei's, there was hardly a moment passed; the fire demon's intentions had been the same as Helios's were with Kurama, but he missed his mark, as it had moved suddenly. He gasped, momentarily losing focus, and became more surprised when a heavy, solid weapon slammed into his back, knocking him to the ground. A sickening crack sounded the moment he struck the cement; it didn't sound good.

"Did you get that damn thin yet?!" Helios hollered, pausing momentarily to glance back at Ritsuka.

"Neither of them have it," she answered, frustrated. Again picking up Yusuke's motionless body, she hurled him away from Kuwabara; this allowed her to grab the orange-haired one by the front of his shirt, lifting him from the ground.

"Hey, let go of me!" Kuwabara demanded, flailing awkwardly and haphazardly. "I'm not allowed to fight girls; it's against my code--"

"Shut up," Ritsuka demanded, shaking him lightly as she listened for the jingling of the key on a chain. Before she was able to determine if it was on his person or not, another body knocked into her side, taking her down and freeing the oafish one, who fell to the ground again in the same place he'd been lifted from moments ago.

Umi shoved Ritsuka into the concrete, hoping to knock her out. It didn't work, and the older girl attempted to shove the elemental off of her; unfortunately, the younger had some foresight, and had bound her hands to the ground--well, _in_ the ground: the elemental had liquefied the earth beneath the American girl, resolidifying it once her hands were securely encased in the mud. For a few moments, she struggled against the earth, but soon found her efforts in vain. Feeling secure, Umi got up off of her, stepping away and heading toward Yusuke and Kuwabara. Before she could get to the place where Yusuke was helping his friend up, a loud shout drew her attention toward Kadaj.

"Behind you!"

Her attention flicked to where the boy was gesturing, and a loud gasp escaped her lips. Before her instincts could even begin to kick in, Yusuke called out to her as he moved into his signature attack pose.

"Duck!"

Doing as she was instructed, falling more than ducking, Umi collapsed to the floor, her loose hair just missing the edge of Yusuke's Spirit Gun blast, which knocked the large crate from its course. Immediately afterward, he ran over to where the girl was partially sunken into the ground, and stopped in front of her, staring at her angry face in deep thought. Before Kuwabara was able to pretend like he was ready to protest, he kicked Ritsuka as hard as he felt comfortable in the head, effectively knocking her out.

"Geeze, you couldn't do that any other way?" Umi inquired, jesting, as she got to her feet again.

"Probably," Yusuke replied, shooting her a presumptuous grin. "So where is that damned key, anyway?"

"Don't worry about it," she snarked, focusing her attention toward the three demons on the other side of the warehouse.

Kurama flipped again, avoiding the energy spear which was being swung erratically; it quickly molded itself into a weapon the kitsune hadn't seen in quite some while. Whirling through the air, the scythe managed to slice through Kurama's arm before being retracted on the thin wire. Grunting from immediate and unexpected pain, his hand rushed to the wound, keeping the blood from flowing as much as possible. He didn't have long to cope; Helios came flying at him, fists clenched, and began to punch furiously at his counterpart.

Simultaneously, Yusuke and Kuwabara ran at the demon prince, shouting wordlessly with their respective weapons drawn. Helios snuck one last, powerful punch (which knocked Kurama a fair distance backward, away from the fight) before whipping out an enormous, heavy pipe of energy, and swung it at the oncoming humans, just before their attacks could be unleashed and sideswiping them to the same area he had hurled Kurama moments before. As the two went flying somewhere near the kitsune, they crashed into one of the many support columns of the warehouse, hitting it with a resonating thud.

Helios's reactions were swift, as he whirled around just in time to block Hiei's surprise assault. The sword clashed with a newly-formed axe, evenly matched for a few tense moments. A devilish grin crossed the demon prince's malicious expression, and he kneed the fire demon in the stomach. Before the short one could double over in pain, he was knocked back into the nearby wall, Helios pinning him upright with one hand.

"It looks like you'll be the first to taste my blade," he commented far too cheerily, yet subversively, morphing the livid orange energy into an incredibly sharp, short sword. That demented grin only grew at the look of defiance set on Hiei's countenance. "Remember, you brought this upon yourself, demon traitor."

Umi's blood-spattered pinstripe Chucks pounded against the concrete floor, moving faster than she had ever before. A new object was quickly being manipulated in her hands, forming into a golden blade with a particularly sharp point. Eyes wide, she watched fearfully as Helios pulled his blade back, preparing for the kill. She wasn't going to make it--

The blade plunged deeply into his chest, the blood pouring out in thick crimson rivers.

* * *

DUN DUN DUN!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, my most epic cliffhanger yet. And, due to the zaniness that is my brain, we're going to have a bit of a change-up in the pre-chapter lyrical quotations; I think you'll be able to figure out where I'm going with this:

Chapter 14:

_Pretentious adventures  
Dismissive aprehension  
Don't waste your time, on coffins today_

_~Walls_, Serj Tankian

Chapter 15:

_When it's over, we can say, "Well done"  
But not yet, 'cause it's only begun  
So, pick up, and follow me, we're the only ones  
To fight this thing, until we've won_

_~Pillar_, Frontline

**A side note: There may be a chapter 16, but I haven't decided whether or not it exists yet. So...yeah...see ya at the update! ^^


	14. The End?

Okay, this update took a lot longer than I wanted it to, but I certainly think it's worth it. Note: This is one of the ending options I have written; since I couldn't decide how this thing should end, I'm going to put both endings up and let you decide. So have fun.

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH. STILL.

* * *

The blade plunged deeply into his chest, the blood pouring out in thick crimson rivers.

A soft gasp escaped his lips as his crimson eyes watched the sticky, vermillion liquid drip down the length of the blade which ejected from the wound. For those first few, terrifying moments, nothing seemed real. That...that act...that hadn't happened. No. It couldn't have...

He couldn't be dead. Not this way.

The disbelieving, surreal moment seemed to go on for eternity as the five stared incredulously at the demon prince ripping his energy blade from the motionless body of their friend. After dissipating his weapon, Helios backed away from the wall, allowing the limp body of their friend to fall to the floor in a heap.

"Hiei!"

Casting aside the weapon in her hand, Umi rushed forward, pushing past the rather amused Youkai. She collapsed to the floor, landing hard on her knees, tears welling up in her eyes. He couldn't be...there was no way...Batting away the tears, she grabbed his wrist, waiting for--praying for--a pulse. When none made itself present, the elemental lowered her ear to his chest, pleading for a heartbeat.

A barking, rancorous laugh came from the demon towering over her. "That's a mortal wound, girl," he taunted, unable to stifle his snickers. "He's dead. And he deserved it, the demon traitor."

"He isn't...he can't be..." she protested brokenly, squeezing her eyes shut. A single tear rolled down her cheek as she silently begged for a heartbeat. Just one...there had to be one...there just had to be...

Three sets of eyes were narrowed in a glare at the demon prince, having just converted from bleary stares at the lifeless body for the fire demon. It was too much to take; their sorrow boiled into rage, all of it directed at the single creature with the tremendous smirk on his face. Two pairs of knuckles cracked simultaneously.

Yusuke flew at Helios first, catching him off guard and nailing him in the face. He was knocked back into a wall on the opposite side of the building, cracking the cement structure slightly where he had hit. The Spirit Detective rushed the dazed demon, letting lose a flurry of swift, painful punches; his assault ended after a few seconds when he hurled Helios over his shoulder. The demon prince hit the cement floor a distance back, his spine cracking as it collided with the ground.

Screaming wordlessly and angrily, Kuwabara ran at the demon as he began to pick himself up from the floor, summoning his Spirit Sword in the process. He swung wildly, making blocking difficult for Helios and inflicting a number of critical blows. The final strike knocked the semiconscious demon into the air, setting up for another attack.

"Eat Spirit Gun, asshole!" Yusuke shouted, firing the last of his rounds. Helios, being severely damaged and barely attentive at that point, had not chance of dodging; the only solace to be had was in the demon prince's scream as he was struck and the dull, resonate thud emitted when his body crashed to the ground, sizzling slightly where the edges of his clothing singed.

Having disposed of the demon menace, t he Spirit Detective ran back over to the others, stopping short when he got near them. His eyes scanned the scene, each detail becoming blurrier than the last.

Kuwabara was standing on the furthest left position, in a shaky stance, a blithering, bawling expression set on his teary countenance. A shadow cast over his face, Kurama knelt next to his cousin, leaning over her right shoulder. Umi simply hadn't moved, as she was still kneeling over their friend's motionless body, her distraught face wet with tears. And there, just feet from where Yusuke stood, was the still figure of Hiei; he still had a look of mild surprise on his face. Flecks of blood, the same scarlet as his eyes, ruined the perfect porcelain of his skin; this same sticky liquid pooled on his chest, welled from the wound, tainting his black cloak. Yusuke stared blankly, incomprehensibly at the scene. He...Hiei couldn't be...Not this way...

"You must have felt it as well," Kurama murmured, not looking up. "You must have felt his energy dissipate; you know he's--"

"Don't say it," Umi pleaded, picking her head up just enough to be able to look him straight in the face. "Please...just...don't say it."

He shook his head. "Umi, you can't honestly believe, after getting his heart pierced, that he could even have the remote possibility of--?"

"I know," she replied, shaking her head. "Just don't say it." It didn't matter that she had seen the blade slide right through his chest; he wouldn't be dead until somebody said it.

"Well, isn't this a touching scene?"

The four immediately snapped their bleary eyes toward the source of the intrusive statement. Helios had risen to his feet and was cracking and stretching his limbs, as though waking from a deep sleep. A blatant look of bother was plastered to his face as he looked over the mourners; he obviously wasn't as entertained by the situation as he was earlier.

"How are you still alive?!" Kuwabara screamed, blinking the tears from his eyes in disbelief.

"You actually thought that little energy blast could kill a Youkai?" Helios laughed. "What a joke! If that's all the strength you have, then your demises shall be swifter than your friend's!"

"You bastard!"

Yusuke and Kuwabara's simultaneous scream was punctuated by the pair of them rushing over to the condescending demon, fists poised for a fight. Punches flew at Helios, who easily blocked the vast majority of them, taking just enough hits to keep the two enticed in their fruitless assault.

Kurama glanced around the warehouse, hoping to devise a way to terminate this brawl in order to properly attend to their deceased--their friend. After a few moments, a strange glint caught his eye: the gold thing on the ground a short distance from his current location seemed familiar, but he couldn't quite place what it was. He continued staring at it for a few moments. Then it hit him. That was the mutilated Key to Paradise; Umi must have changed its shape to attack Helios and prevent...He shook his head once, turning his attention toward his cousin.

"Umi, go pick up the key," he quietly instructed. "We can use it to eliminate Helios and turn our attentions elsewhere."

The elemental sniffed once, wiping away her tears with her sleeve. "How am I going to hit him?"

Kurama blinked stupidly. "You're not. I will."

"How? You're a demon, remember?"

He blinked again, concerned that his plan was not turning out as he'd intended. "Then give it to Yusuke or Kuwabara; they'll be able to take care of him once I immobilize him."

Nodding, she glanced back at Hiei. A thought seemed to pass through her mind as she shakily rose to her feet and scampered away. Kurama didn't think too much on that, instead focusing on his plants. Pulling one out from his flowing red hair, he placed it in the center of his flattened palm. Exacting his precise aim, he flicked the tiny bud at the demon prince. It landed, unnoticed, on his foot. Perfect.

"Yusuke! Kuwabara! Get back!" he called, gesturing away from the demon prince. The two barely glanced back at him before continuing to wail on the enemy; it took them a few moments to glance back and see the severity of the kitsune's glance before dashing away.

Helios landed solidly on his feet just in time for Kurama's plant to explode to life; its vines crawled up his body and bound his limbs tightly, eliminating all movement.

"What is this?!" he snarled, struggling against the demon plant. "Get it off of me, demon traitor!"

"Isn't irony a bitch?" Umi inquired sardonically, drawing attention to Helios's right. In her hand was the gold chain for which Ritsuka had so desperately sought; swinging from this chain was a tarnished gold dagger, encrusted with many gems. Helios still didn't quite get it, but he had a pretty good idea of what she was talking about.

"Oh, so the little human girl is going to kill me?" the Youkai heir let out a derogatory bark of a laugh. "Tell me, girl, have you ever taken a life? Can your fragile psyche take it?"

The elemental stopped in front of Helios, staring murderously into his mocking tangerine eyes. "I haven't killed anybody," she answered, adjusting the blade in her hand, "but for you, I'm willing to start."

Helios snorted in contempt. "I'd like to see that."

"As you wish." The statement, barely breathed, held as much malice as she could ever hope to infuse any words with--the hatred would have made Hiei swell with pride. Hardly a moment passed before the elemental lifted her arm, finished morphing the key in her hand, and braced herself for the strike. A contemptuous look came to the demon prince's face at her hesitation; Umi wasn't pleased at that. Again riled to rage, she plunged the blade directly into his chest; blood sputtered from the wound, spattering red on her as she began to twist the knife through his heart. When a particularly large amount of the crimson liquid shot from the wound, she knew she had pierced his heart for sure. A grin, somewhere between accomplished and disgusted, spread across her countenance as she pulled the blade from his body; it was then that she noted the extent of his wound: not only did the blade slice through his flesh and through his organs, but the curse on the metal actually singed the flesh, hopefully increasing his silent suffering.

As the girl walked away, Kurama released the very deceased body from the grips of his vine plant, allowing it to fall to the ground in a heap. A strange, unearthly silence passed over the warehouse; the only sound heard was the uneven footfalls of the elemental as she walked over to the place where the others were, a somewhat blank look on her face.

"What are we going to do now?" she inquired, glancing between the three.

"We can take care of the bodies," Yusuke answered blandly, eyes lowering. An immense sorrow shot through his expression: he'd felt Hiei's spirit pass, his energy disappear. He couldn't bring himself to say the word 'dead,' no matter how much he wanted to use it to describe the demon prince; he'd already put both Helios and Hiei into the same group, and using that word on the former would irreversibly apply it to the latter.

She nodded, somberly.

Kurama placed a hand on her shoulder. "Umi, I want you and Kadaj to take the key back to Koenma. He'll...need it." He lifted her chin up, looking directly into her eyes; they were the same as his in every way: emerald in color, almond in shape, and devoid of emotion. He put on a fake smile of reassurance. "Everything will be fine. Don't worry."

A laugh returned to her eyes, if only for a moment. "Alright."

* * *

It was dark now. The solitary light from the flame of the candle in the lantern on the coffee table didn't alleviate that fact. A strange, thoughtful silence dominated the room, as each person was lost in their own mind, mulling over the untimely demise of their friend.

They all had held a vigil in Kurama's house: the lantern's light was the last remnant of this service. Now everybody--Kurama, Yusuke, Kuwabara, Umi, Kadaj, Genkai, Shizuru, Botan, Keiko, Yukina--had taken a place somewhere around the living room. Fragments of conversations, interrupted by bursts of tears, hadn't even been attempted in at least an hour; most of that time had been passed in silence, attentions focused on the single flame as the elemental switched its color through the visible spectrum out of a sense of obligation--it was a trick she hadn't gotten to show Hiei before he...

Botan hiccoughed again, more tears streaming down her face. "That was one of the worst ferries I've ever had to do," she wept into her hands. Keiko placed her hand on Botan's shoulder, rubbing it slightly for comfort. "I never want to ferry a friend, ever again."

"He was always so nice to me," Yukina reminisced, crying in some emotion between sorrow and happiness combined. Kuwabara wrapped an arm around her in a hug of support. "I just wish I could have said goodbye. I can't even remember the last ting I said to him."

At that, Umi gasped loudly. "I'm a terrible person!" she announced, horrified. "The last thing I said to him was that he and Yusuke could kill each other later..." The rest of her sentence was intelligible, as she burst into tears and buried her face in Kurama's shoulder. Instinctively, he petted her head to soothe her; it wasn't helping much.

"But you talked to him in Spirit World," Kadaj pointed out helpfully. Sitting up and attempting to look her in the face, he added, "Remember? We saw him in Koenma's office? When you told that Youkai creep to shove it up his ass?"

"You saw him?" Kurama questioned, intrigued, pausing momentarily in his petting as he lifted her head up to see her face.

"What did he say?" Yusuke added as the others glanced over.

* * *

_Kadaj was worried. The entire way to Spirit World, Umi hadn't spoken so much as a word to him, no matter what he said to her. She simply walked in a zombie-like state, her eyes focused on some unknown point in the distance. That was not how the girl should be, ever; he couldn't help but wonder exactly what was going through her mind. Perhaps it was the life that was taken from her; perhaps it was the life that she had taken; he couldn't be sure either way._

_"Look, there's Koenma's office," Kadaj pointed out in an attempt to be helpful, gesturing over the large mass of unknown, placeless souls. The din of this disgruntled crowd overpowered any response that may have been given. A bothered look came to his face. "Do you have the key?" Still not looking at him, she held up the fixed key, waggling it a bit in his face. Sighing, he led the inattentive girl through the mob of souls toward Koenma's office._

_Stumbling and shoving through the crowd, the two living humans finally reached the toddler ruler's office. Sliding through the door, they slammed it shut behind them to keep the unpleasant souls out. A frantic Koenma was sitting uncomfortably and impatiently behind the enormous stack of papers on his desk. Grinning happily, the American stepped forward, practically dragging the girl behind him._

_"Oh Koenma," he called merrily, waving. "Guess who's got the key?"_

_At that, the tiny ruler perked up. When he saw who was in his office, a huge grin of excitement came to his face. "You did it!" he cheered, jumping up joyously._

_"Hell yeah we did," Kadaj gloated, robbing the key from Umi and bringing it to Koenma. Handing it over, he smirked victoriously. "We're so beast."_

_Ignoring the last comment entirely, the prince called for one of his many workers--Ayame, one of his multiple grim reapers. Taking the key, she scuttled out of the room to open the gates to the afterlife. A beaming grin of satisfaction came to Koenma's face. "You have no idea how important this is. Now all these dead guys can get out of my office--oh, and Spirit World is returned to normal and stuff. Of course."_

_"It came at a high price," Kadaj murmured, glancing at his distant friend. "Perhaps...too high...for some."_

_An unreadable look came to the prince's face as he glanced over to the elemental as well. "Umi," he began, drawing her surprisingly focused attention, "I know this mission has been rough on you. I feel awful about forcing it upon you. I didn't believe that you would be entrusted with the task of taking a life; your confusion...your guilt...it's all completely understandable." Her stare remained perfectly emotionless. For a moment, Koenma wasn't sure as to what might be the cause of her silence._

_He didn't have long to ponder, as a call came through on his television. Two of the three immediately recognized the face on the screen, and none of the three were particularly pleased about it._

_"Koenma, what happened to my son?" the current Lord Youkai's voice boomed, his bright tangerine eyes narrowing in a menacing glare._

_"He and a human psychic he brainwashed attacked my Spirit Detective and his comrades," Koenma answered flatly. "He was killed by a human psychic--I think you've met her before."_

_He paused, glaring. "The elemental _killed_ a Youkai?! And on your orders, Koenma? This is a declaration of war!"_

_"Shove it up your ass," Umi groused, throwing him an equally malevolent stare. "I killed the prick because he killed somebody I care about. I hope he's rotting in hell. Koenma didn't know about it beforehand, either. Now stop being a weak, paranoid bitch of a ruler and end this pissing contest of a power struggle before I come in there and stake you through the heart, too." She shot him one last glare--one that would make Hiei proud--before the connection faded._

_A pause._

_"Damn, when did you get so violent?" Kadaj asked, torn between sarcasm and fear._

_"That prick is the reason Hiei's dead," she growled, glancing downward. "He deserves every sort of torture I can think of and then some. I really do hope he's burning in hell."_

_Before any more comments could be made, the doors to Koenma's office opened again, allowing two very familiar faces to enter. One was sobbing almost uncontrollably; the other was absolutely stoic, as always._

_"Botan, please," Koenma half-soothed from his desk. "This is hard for all of us." It was a lot harder than he wanted to say, mostly because he'd misplaced Hiei's file, and couldn't pass judgment until he found it. After a few moments, Botan had gotten her sobs under control, and realized that the prince needed help; she approached his desk and began to search for his file. Hiei, meanwhile, made his way toward the silent human._

_"I'll...go over there," Kadaj mumbled awkwardly after a few moments, ambling off in an unspecified direction with an unreadable--but undoubtedly devilish--grin on his face._

_For a moment, the two stood motionless and soundless. Hiei made the first move, reaching into his pocket for something. What he pulled out was a gorgeous pearl-like gem. He held it in his open palm as the girl stared incomprehensibly at it; finally, she looked at him, curious._

_"The koorime live alone on a flying island, isolated from the rest of demon world," he explained offhandedly, refraining from looking into her eyes. "They are a nation of females, and they don't contact the outside world. Every century, each koorime gives birth to a single daughter; when they do, they cry a single tear which turns into a unique stone and is given to the child. Male children are only born when an ice apparition leaves the village and conceives a child; these male children are a curse upon the village, and are thrown to their death. They are still given their birthstone, as a sign to the rest of demon world." He paused momentarily, closing his hand around the stone. "They are highly valuable." A strange grimace came to his face as he took her hand, opening it; he placed the stone in her open palm, closing her fingers around it._

_Surprised, Umi glanced from her closed fist containing the beautiful stone to Hiei's furrowed crimson eyes. A soft smile came to her face. "If only I'd moved a little faster...You could have kept your stone..."_

_The rather sheepish look on his face honestly made her believe she would have wound up with the precious gem anyway. "Don't get soft on me," he grumbled in his usual fashion, glancing elsewhere. "Everybody better go back to their regular lives and live a damn long time; I'm looking forward to some quiet."_

_Umi laughed, a little bit too much. After a few moments of hysterics, she had to wipe away some tears of joy. "Hiei, I..." She didn't know what to say, or ever what she wanted to say._

_"Hiei, we found your file!" Botan called, hiccoughing as a few more tears streamed down her face. She flagged him over._

_"Umi, Kadaj, you'll have to leave," Koenma informed, waving them off. "We can talk after this pressing matter."_

_Hiei and Umi exchanged one final glance: his ruby irises met her emerald ones in an unnamed emotion--a final parting, as if to apologize for everything, for not being able to meet again in that life, at that time. Before drawing herself away, she snuck a quick kiss, giving him a peck on the lips. He blinked stupidly as he watched her scamper off to the other human, who was waiting patiently at the door with a stupid grin on his face. The last thing he saw was her hand as it waved before closing the door, his stone dangling from her thin wrist._

* * *

"He wants us all to live for a long time so he doesn't have to deal with us," the elemental finally responded, beginning to laugh again. The vigil flame turned a vibrant shade of green as she snickered.

"Yeah, that sounds like him," Yusuke agreed, chuckling.

It wasn't clear as to why, but their laughter was intoxicating, and highly addictive. Kadaj, Kuwabara, and Kurama got caught up in it next, and the girls followed one by one afterward. Soon, everybody was laughing, but nobody quite knew why. This mass hysteria lasted for a good long while before the front door burst open.

"Have you ever heard of knocking?" Umi called between snickers.

"Have I interrupted something funny?" teenage Koenma inquired, raising an eyebrow in confusion.

"We're--we're not too sure why we're la-laughing, either," Kurama admitted between giggles.

"What do you need, diaper-boy?" Yusuke asked while failing in his attempts to stifle his laughter.

Koenma didn't look nearly as mirthful as the others. "I've been informed that Kada's memory must be wiped, one way or another."

"But if you wipe any of my memory, all of it'll go!" Kadaj protested, widening his ivory eyes in fear and cowering behind Kurama. "I want to remember!"

Koenma shook his head slowly. "You can't, especially because you'll be leaving soon."

Silence passed over the room, and solemnity settled in.

"Kurama," the prince began, "do you have any suggestions?"

Glancing between Umi's and Kadaj's identical pleading looks, he sighed. "There's a compound I can make with a certain demonic plant. It won't eliminate the memories, but it will oppress them."

"That'll have to do."

"Oh, come off it, Koenma!" Yusuke hollered. "This guy just helped save the world, and now he's not allowed to remember it?!"

"I hate to be the bad guy," he replied sharply, "but it must be this way."

"But that's just wrong--!"

"Shut up, dimwit," Genkai snapped, whacking him over the back of the head. "It's a security measure. I'm sure Ritsuka's memory was erased as well."

Koenma nodded. "She will be sent with Kadaj back home once we erase these memories. It must be done."

Again, silence dominated the room.

"The compound will be finished in the hour," Kurama announced somberly, slowly rising from the couch. A lingering apologetic glance set on his face, he flicked his attention to Kadaj as he walked out of the room.

* * *

"Are you sure he'll forget everything about Spirit World?" Koenma inquired again, pacing back and forth behind Kurama. Anxiety and dread filled the room, having intensified dramatically since Kurama returned with his elixir; nobody was quite prepared to let Kadaj go as well.

"I guarantee it," the kitsune replied apologetically. Turning toward the terrified American, he asked, "Are you ready?"

Kadaj tightened his grip on Umi's hand, glancing at her for support. Slowly, she nodded, her free hand instinctively clutching Hiei's stone for comfort. Returning to Kurama, he answered, "Yeah, I guess."

Tense, Kurama handed a glass of an unidentifiable blue liquid to the American, who looked at it funnily. "Drink the whole thing," he instructed, looking away from the boy's determined eyes. The guilt that he was taking another of their friends was simply too much to bear.

"Do I get a spoonful of sugar?" he joked halfheartedly, glancing around for a reaction. Everybody had the same look of anxious depression on their faces. Putting on his best supportive grin, he tried, "Don't worry guys, I'll be okay. We'll keep in touch...I guess..." With one last apprehensive look at the glass, he murmured, "Bottom's up," before downing the glass in a single gulp.

The group watched in anticipation as the elixir took hold. His eyes glazed over, and life seemed to pass from his eyes; his body went limp, and his hand slipped from the elemental's. A pause. Silence. The overwhelming fear that he had died.

Then--

"What's everybody looking at?" Kadaj asked, as life flooded back to him. "And why's it so dark in here? What're we doing anyway, having a séance?"

A sort of twisted, bizarre laugh forced its way out of some of the group members. Confused, Kadaj turned to his right-hand girl for some answers.

"The power's out," she replied, lying through her forceful laughter. "How did you forget already?"

He wasn't entirely buying it, but he didn't care enough to protest. Noticing the added jewelry around her neck, as her hand was still stroking it for comfort, he inquired, "What's with the new bling?"

Tenacity set in, as nobody seemed to be aware of how to answer that particular inquiry.

Umi smiled sincerely, adding a slight, merry giggle for effect. "I got it from an old friend...I don't think you've ever met."

He nodded. "I'd like to meet him some day."

She simply beamed, an obvious sorrow setting in her emerald irises as they brimmed with tears. "You might. Someday."

* * *

So that's the first ending. Luckily, I remind you, you have an option as to how you want the story to end. So read on!


	15. El Fin?

Here's the alternative/second ending. I feel like a lot more people are going to like this one. ^-^

Disclaimer: [the last one EVER! T_T] I don't own YYH. I promise. Now read!

* * *

The blade plunged deeply into his chest, the blood pouring out in thick crimson rivers.

A soft gasp escaped his lips as he watched the sticky crimson liquid as it dripped down his chest, pouring from the point of the blade which jettisoned through his chest. His tangerine irises glazed over slightly as the blade was slowly withdrawn from his body; his grip slackened as his muscles lost their feeling. One final exhalation, and his limp body fell to the ground in a heap, allowing the other to land softly on his feet on the floor.

Hiei blinked stupidly, staring at the pile on the floor for a few moments before refocusing his attention to the figure who had saved his life. The girl stood motionless, staring at the bloody blade in her hand and watching as it mutated back into the Key to Paradise. When the thing regained its usual shape, the elemental glanced up. Catching sight of the confused fire demon, she smiled widely and ran at him.

"Hiei, you're alive!" she cheered, nearly tackling him to the ground as she hugged him. Umi laughed happily in relief. "I was so worried about you--"

"You're standing in blood," Hiei pointed out, very obviously uncomfortable in the hug.

"Yeah, but it isn't your blood," she replied, wrapped up on hysterics.

"She's right," Kurama concurred as he chuckled, pulling his cousin off of the blatantly uncomfortable one. "It is very lucky that this isn't your blood on the floor."

Snorting, Hiei scoffed as he turned his attention elsewhere. "He wouldn't have gone through with it; he was weak."

A smile came to Kurama's lips as he watched Hiei get glomp-tackled by both Yusuke and Kuwabara. The two humans sputtered an endless spew of nonsensical fragmented sentences, focusing on how Hiei wasn't dead, while the last human made his way slowly toward the group. When he arrived, he was greeted with a huge grin from the girl. He couldn't return it, instead giving her a blank stare with a dropped jaw.

"You...you _killed_ him," Kadaj gaped, hardly blinking as he stared off into some unknown distance. Such an act of violence...it was incredible. And incredibly scary.

Umi blinked, her demeanor suddenly collapsing into one which matched the American's. "Holy hell," she murmured, eyes widening in fear. "I took a life. I _killed_ somebody!"

"Umi, relax," Kurama consoled, stepping forward. The others glanced over, only pausing in their motions to listen. "It was an acceptable reason for taking his life."

"Yeah," Kuwabara agreed, getting up after Hiei had punched him down moments before. "That's self-defense, completely defendable in court."

"Besides," Yusuke added, stopping his noogie only momentarily, "he was just some snotty, rotten, terrible, hateful demon scum. He was going to have to die anyway. If you didn't do it, I was going to eventually."

The elemental shrugged, feeling only slightly better. "I suppose."

Bothered slightly, Kurama placed a hand on her shoulder, drawing her attention his way. "Umi, you made the right move. I was either his life, or Hiei's." She still didn't seem convinced. "Let me put it to you this way: would you rather be standing in your enemy's blood, or your friend's?"

Following a few moments of stupid blinking, Umi raised the bloody key, glancing between it and Kadaj. A sort of dorky grin came to her face, and immediately, he understood that he would enjoy the next comment. "Death to all demons!" she half-shouted in jest, earning a bout of laughter from the humans. Kurama grabbed the back of his neck as a bead of sweat rolled down his side of his face. Hiei simply gave her a look of disapproval.

"Humans are idiots," Hiei groused, shoving Yusuke off of him. His comment, although entirely true and heartfelt, earned another round of hysterics from the humans. It was highly irritating.

* * *

Kurama was the one who had to remind the others that the case still wasn't completed. After a few minutes' worth of rancorous laughter, he nearly forced the others to grab Ritsuka and bring her and the key to Spirit World, arriving some time later.

The halls were packed, filled with souls who were unable to move on to the afterlife. To say the least, they weren't entirely pleased with the situation they were currently in, and their disgruntled gripes made an audible white noise for the Spirit Detective and his group as they worked their way through the crowd. A sense of urgency almost had enough time to build up as they forced themselves through the crowd, but their arrival at the doors of Koenma's office banished it entirely.

"Good news, Koenma!" Yusuke called after kicking in his door. "I've got the key--"

"No you don't," Kuwabara contradicted, holding up the Key to Paradise. "I've got it!"

"Give me that," Kadaj snapped, snatching the key from the younger. Throwing him a jesting, yet annoyed, stare as he approached the cluttered desk, the human waggled the key between his first few fingers. "Yeah, that weak little demon was no match for me--"

"What're you talking about? Urameshi and I had to save your ass the whole fight!"

"Details, details," he murmured, waving the comment off. "Point is, he's dead, and the key's here."

Shoving all of the papers off of his desk in a rash decision of excitement, Koenma jumped up on the top of the table. "You actually did it? I can't believe it!"

A simultaneous, offended shout of "Hey!" came from Yusuke, Kuwabara, and Kadaj; an indignant look, matching for all, followed the noise. Hiei and Umi shared an unamused glance, both crossing their arms in mild irritation. At the collective reactions around him, Kurama could only smile and hold back a snicker.

Cheering loudly, the prince snatched the key from the human, holding it up to the light. "Yep, that's the real deal--" His sentence was cut off by a loud gasp of surprise. "Why's it covered in blood?!"

"Because it was stabbed through someone's chest," Umi answered simply, crinkling her nose slightly. She obviously wasn't entirely okay with the fact that she'd murdered someone, but she was coming to terms with the fact that it was forgivable.

"Ew." Koenma dangled the key out in front of him, also crinkling his nose--his action, however, was done in disgust. Glancing at a side door, he shouted, "Ogre! Come clean this off. And when you're done, take it to Ayame so she can get all those dead people out of my office!"

As he was shouting, the side door flew open, allowing the blue ogre to stumble into the room, an annoyed look set on his countenance. "I have a name, you know," he grumbled as he lightly took hold of the key. "It's Jorge."

"Quickly, Ogre!"

The blue ogre jerked, darting out of the room with the key in hand.

Highly pleased, Koenma hopped back onto his plush, cushy office chair, grinning widely. "So it looks like this case is closed," the prince announced merrily. "No more Youkai nonsense for another couple of centuries or so--"

"Nonsense, is it?"

The voice earned a strange yelping noise-gasp combination from the majority of the people in the room as all of the people in the room turned their attentions toward the big open doors. Between the double doors stood a figure recognizable to only half of the occupants of the room; the man's bright orange irises gave the other half a pretty good idea of who he might be related to.

"Of course not, Lord Youkai," Koenma replied, waving his hands haphazardly while sweating a bit. "I'm just surprised to see you here, that's all, sir."

A superior smirk came to his face as he stepped further into the room, passing the group on his way to Koenma's desk.

"I told you it was the motherfucking demon mafia," Umi hissed, leaning over to Kadaj with her hand covering her mouth slightly. The boy stifled his snickers with his fist in his mouth.

The Youkai ignored the comment, but apparently didn't mind throwing a particularly irate glare toward Koenma. "The girl wouldn't tell me, but perhaps you'd be willing to answer my question. Where is my son?"

"Who did you ask?" Koenma inquired, not truly willing to inform the demon that his son was dead.

Gesturing toward some unknown area, he groused, "I don't know, that human who was working for him--look, where is he?"

"Her memory's been erased," the prince informed nervously, changing the subject again. "She doesn't know where anybody or anything is right now--"

"Where is he?" the question turned lethal as his eyes narrowed into a deadly glare.

"He's dead," Hiei stated flatly in a rather bored and slightly agitated tone.

Youkai turned around, his steely gaze set on the fire demon. "Dead, is he? And I suppose you were the one to kill him, right?

Surprisingly, it wasn't Hiei who answered. Yusuke's snort of laughter drew the demon lord's attention his way. "That weak guy? Nah, he was killed by Umi there," he finished, pointing toward the elemental. "We figured that we shouldn't waste our energy on him."

An expression of shock crawled onto his face as he slowly returned his focus to the girl. "You? A human? Kill a Youkai? What a joke."

"Yeah," Kuwabara added, puffing out his chest. "And if you don't stop intimidating Koenma and the rest of Spirit World, we're going to take care of you, too."

The demon lord seemed amused at first, a grin growing on his countenance. Slowly, he grew to realize that they were completely serious, based upon the same intense seriousness in the stares currently on everybody's faces. His grin slowly died on his face.

"They're right, Yami," Koenma concurred, looking as stern as a toddler possibly could. "I will not tolerate any more of this extortion. I am willing to let you maintain your control of your dominion, but this game has got to stop."

The Youkai glanced among the people in the room, his expression continually falling as he gauged their energy. It seemed that the humans weren't merely baiting him; they actually stood a strong chance of defeating him in a battle. Finally, settling upon a begrudging expression, he ceded. "Fine." He had nothing else to say: it was time to cut his losses. This transaction did just that and, having completed it, the demon lord stormed from the office, grumbling to himself.

As soon as the doors slammed shut again, Koenma turned the group to another pressing matter. "Now, we've got another issue to address." His eyes flicked over toward the stupidly blinking human boy. "Kadaj...needs his memory erased. He can't remember this--"

"Koenma, we've tried this before," Kadaj interrupted, looking slightly worried. "Remember the part where you said I wouldn't be able to remember anything at all?"

"I wasn't able to erase your memory, but I believe that Kurama can." He looked past the terrified human toward the pensive kitsune. "Well? Anything, Kurama?"

"I do have some plants that may block the memories," he thought aloud, refraining from making eye contact with any of the others.

"Okay, that'll work--"

"Oh, come on Koenma!" Yusuke protested, throwing his hands up in disgust and outrage. "He just helped save the world! You can't tell me he's not allowed to remember that!"

Koenma ignored him, looking directly at the rather sheepish Kurama, who wasn't doing well under the intense glares of his cousin and her friend. "I want you to take him back to Human World and wipe his memory," he instructed gravely. "He can't remember a thing."

* * *

"You're not really going to--?"

"Umi, please. I have my orders."

"But Kurama--"

"If you're going to continue distracting me, you can leave." Staring intently at the different plants in front of him, Kurama waited patiently until he heard the door shut behind his cousin as she left in a huff. His eyes narrowed as he thought through the procedure to create his elixir, and a sigh escaped his thoughtfully pursed lips. He hoped this would work...

"I told you he wouldn't change his mind," a voice to her left murmured in a condescending tone--much more offending than necessary.

Umi paused, tossing him an annoyed glance with her narrowed emerald eyes. "Was that just your way of thanking me to save your life, or has it been too long since you got to make a snarky comment?"

The look on the fire demon's face said he was having serious second thoughts about what he was about to do. Sighing, he pulled a small gem from his pocket; it glimmered even in the dim lighting of the hallway. Umi stared stupidly at it, mesmerized by its beauty, unable to say anything. Hiei, however, could.

"The koorime live alone on a flying island, isolated from the rest of demon world," he explained offhandedly, refraining from looking into her eyes. "They are a nation of females, and they don't contact the outside world. Every century, each koorime gives birth to a single daughter; when they do, they cry a single tear which turns into a unique stone and is given to the child. Male children are only born when an ice apparition leaves the village and conceives a child; these male children are a curse upon the village, and are thrown to their death. They are still given their birthstone, as a sign to the rest of demon world." He paused momentarily, closing his hand around the stone. "They are highly valuable." A strange grimace came to his face as he took her hand, opening it; he placed the stone in her open palm, closing her fingers around it.

Umi blinked stupidly again, having no idea of what she could possibly say. Before she could open her mouth to say anything idiotic, Kurama opened his door, glass in hand. It was filled with a strange red substance, just a thin liquid. It actually looked delicious.

"So that's it, then?" Umi questioned, raising an eyebrow in indignation. "That's the stuff that's gonna erase Kadaj's memory of all the things we've done?"

A strange, unreadable smile came to her cousin's face; he didn't reply, merely walking down the stairs. The other two exchanged glances, bemused, and followed him to the living room, where the tenacity was thick enough to cut with a steak knife.

"Really Kurama? Do you have to?"

"Yes, Kuwabara," Kurama sighed, bothered by the greeting he'd earned. The kitsune turned toward Kadaj, who was sitting on the couch with a very terrified countenance. He held up the glass, filled with the strange, yet familiar-looking, red liquid, to eye level so the boy could get a good look at it. As he opened his mouth to speak, his cousin took a seat next to the doomed human. "Alright Kadaj, here's the thing: you've got to drink the whole thing."

"Do I have to?" he whined, taking the elemental's hand. Kurama nodded solemnly. Kadaj, very unwilling, took the drink; looking amongst the somber faces around the room, he put on a brave face to reassure the others. He muttered, "Bottom's up," before downing the substance.

Silence passed; nobody spoke for a few moments as they watched the reaction the boy had. His eyes glazed over a bit, and life seemed to be sucked away from his body. Finally, the spark of life shot back into his eyes as he picked the glass up again, looking intensely at its lack of beverage.

"Damn, that was some good Kool-Aid," he exclaimed, smacking his lips happily. "Best damn Kool-Aid I've ever had!"

The others looked aghast, staring at the grinning Kurama with their jaws slack. He merely smiled at them, muttering, "Whoops. I guess it didn't work." There was a pause. "That doesn't mean that Koenma has to know."

* * *

And that's the other ending. Much happier, ain't it? Hope y'all enjoyed this little adventure. Don't feel too sad, though; I've got more fiction in the works. They're all up here, in my brain; just gotta work out some kinks, and then you'll be enjoying more of my awesomeness. [/end narcissism]

Thanks a lot for reading! I'll see you all in my new works! ^_^


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